Melt me with ure kisses.

Not talking much, but we are getting better. In contact again and yess, fine, it was partially my fault. He felt jealous I went out with my boyfies on national day's eve! Corrections : MY SECONDARY SCHOOL MATES and all guys ok. I can mention names, SYAHRIE, ASWAD, ANUAR, GIGI, JOE, MOQ . ah, senang caqap, BDS larh! And akai's friend, amali saw us. Sorry dear, I didnt inform you beforehand, but ure prepaid was low remember? I tried calling u but to no avail. Btw, dier masey merajoq laa. haiz. pray for me, he gets rational soon. and as for u ppl who is so eager to knoe who thats self proclaimed dbl o "hotstuff" and "dutch" mixed 32 yr old is, here's the photo, sit baq and enjoy viewing :

Bla Bla Bla.. Etc Etc Etc.. Rumours got me laughing kyd! In my own professional point of view, I seriously think sum people need IMMEDIATE attention and MEDICATION. I've got some hoes who kept on bugging and talking bout me and my groupies. Im kind enough not to mention any names here, cos i am certain, that certain someone will occasionally key in http://dunstereotypeme.blogspot.com/ and read on my recent post. *chuckles. Ok, there's a group and also an individual. GROUP : this young lady here will tend to go ard class and say " I hate Bella. " and me and my girls will get a hell of stares when we walk especially in the canteen, ryte babes? But unfortunately, ive got ppl telling me that " hey bella, they are just jealous and well, ure friends with everyone, why on earth would they discriminate?" My answer is simple : THEY ARE JUST BORED WITH THEIR OWN LIFE. Stupid they tend to be huh? Its not as if we are still in secondary school. HELLO? we are ...

Pictures of me and diydee in class on MONDAY! Thanks to the oh so bored lectures ok! haha. Thys is one way we kill our boredom! Without a camera phone, i guess, we are better off dead in class! What do u expect from " BASIC ECONOMICS ". *yawns! masai ryte our faces.. haha.. I gotta chao now... Going to school... LOVE. Bella.

And so, I just returned home. Just have a look at my heavy eyebags and red nose. I was from a ride with Akai's parents. Ok, went to hys grndma's crib in the middle of the night. Things have been going on between me and boyfie, lately. The tiff, the changes and the distance. Its not getting any better, it turned out to be worst. Its 6 weeks to our engagement and now, i dun evn knoe how to phrase it. A DISASTER? err... SERIOUS. NO IDEA. Lets get things straight. Ive had a huge argument with hys friend, Farhan. AGAIN! And outta sudden, akai was all different. Crap, it was just a week ago when he asked me if he cud return baq to my crib, and my answer was simple, NO. reason, i was unhappy still. Yes, I got myself carried away thinking of that jander. But, again, they are mere friends. And i hope, its clear enough. Akai has a serious problem answering calls, and replying messages nowadays. Not only mine, but everyone. Hys mum told me he sounded real down. I knoe, my sarcasms hur...

FUCKED UP!

I finally gain my appetite to have a MUNCH MUNCH. but not a lot laa ok? Credits to my lovely MAMA, ABANG, QAQAQ, BUDAQ DEPAN SEQOLAH, abang pipit, anuar, rabia, Daya, E'qa, Diydee and Nas.. Credits to my taggers as well! Thanks for all your support! cey, macam naq menang award eyy? hehes. I appreciate each and every single one of you. Oh and yess, i finally see the light within. I've built that strength inside. Ive yet to be stronger. I come to realize that life has lots of beautiful wonders and the future has its surprises. Tyme tells everything. And Allah (god) definitely wants the best for his people. If something is meant to be yours, sooner or later it will still be. Ive learnt a lot during those nights alone. Ive endured much pain than what ppl have expected cos im known as that bubbly, loud and happy go lucky girl. Within those smile and laughters, its a deep deep cut. A hollow heart which is yet to be cured. And my girls knoe, ive shared lots of past experiences with th...

Kisses to my fellow readers. Aite! I am finally done and overr with my examss! Ok, I got a hang of my marketing.. But as for today's paper, COMMUNICATIONS, i really hope, i pulled through. duh.. Everything was soopa hard! I did the wrong format for my REPORT!! argh! 20 marks ok?? And and.. Im finally outta my crib. I realised how stupid i was. Why do I need to suffer when he is outside having hys fun! Hell, i should get myself grooving. Heyy, he aint werth my tears ryte? Lol! He finally called. SO... i hung up. CRUSHES ME CRUSHES ME CRUSHES ME!!!! LOL! Diydee, Dolly, thanks fer making me laugh! and to my F141 thanks fer all ya support! Love ya classmates. Every argument has its ending. let me just take things positively... AKAI, I AM STILL NOT MISSING U! remember that.. Ohh btw, next week is a beginnin of new term and and shucks! Its all in the afternoon.. BOOHOO!!! HEHEHEHEHES!. And, i cant talk much now, cos i gotta siap and meet my rabia, abg pipit.. TEMAN ME BUY HANDPHONE LAAA!...

REPLY TO TAGGERS : Susan : Malay? Haha. Can be considered since i have indonesian blood. Yes, its for real. as stated in my birth certificate and i/c. I do have my islamic name, too! As for my race, Im a Eurasian. =) Thanks fer tagging sweetheart. Shaaa : Hey girlfriend!! Oh yess, We shall meet up pretty soon okeh!! Perhaps, this week? Ive got tons of stories to share! rofl! And i miss u like a baby misses their milk! i will stay strongg, insya'allah.. I LOVE YOU! Muaacccckkkkssssss! Franira : Heyy. Nira.. Thanks for coaxing. and thanks for tagging. Yes, Im letting her have her funn! and i lose nothing! and im giving my boyfie a hell lotsa ignorance from me. Tho it may hurt, i still have to move on. I knoe, he'll regret! and yess nira, i have my PRIDE! My brother : Awww abang! Soo sweet of U. yes, kepo! haha. u will alwaes be my kepo! ok?? hehes. and taqmo step maner pe blm ORD k? hahahah. and abang, no worries, i will keluar biliq soon. janji. and and im not in t...

Its fugging 6 am and I still cant sleep. IVE GOT 1 HOUR AND 30 MINUTES TO get myself up, and go to school! What's worst its my exam from 10-12.. And, yess , ive done my revisions. Its superb but trust me its not gonna b that perfect. *FINGERSCROSSED OK.. Im gonna force myself to sleep now! WISH ME LUCK, LOVELIES! Till den Good night . morning.. LOVE. BELLA

I've been stucked in my room fer the whole of 4 days! I am not in the mood to go out, long phone conversations, editing photos, listening to music, watching tv or even play my favourite game! I wanna be here in my room. My solitude. Mum has been begging me to eat and show myself up. I simply cant. REASON : Mama, you know best. I am not at the best mood to DRESS UP, CLUB or whatever shyt! Recently, Ive been having a thing fer clubs! I just hate clubs! I hate hang outs! I hate watching WEDDING DAZE! I hate the colour red! I hate strawberries(tho im craving fer it). And I hate those fucking girls who naq step maner pe yaya papaya! eeew! I dun wanna step out of my crib.. I wanna stay here, IN MY ROOM.. Mama, dun be worry about me ok? I will be ok soon, Insya'allah. I've been having sleepless nights fer 3 days now, What's werz, I slept at 8.45 am ytd. I tossed and turned, On my lappie, hug my teddie, But everything doesnt work. And so, I took a stick, and let a puff out. Sti...

Thanks to my oh so emotional attitude, I failed to update the most precious moment of my entire life! A new baby was borned on the lucky 08.08.08. That is my lil baby cuzzie.. Hys name is Elfi 'Izz Qayyum.. And we call hym, Qayuum.. Recognize hys elder sister? The one on top?? She's the host fer a kid's programme in suria, CHINCHILLA. I wonder if that is the right spelling. LOL! Right on National day, I spent my tyme with the light of my lyfe, baby boy, Luth 'Izz Qaisy. The one i've neglected fer months. Ok, i admit, i was busy with school, work and yea, BOYFIE, SHEIKH MUHAMMAD ZAKARIA aka AKAI. I felt sorry. But baby, promise i wun do it again ok. Ok, I love that baby boy of myne. The sunshine that never failed to give me strength. Whenever I look upon hys face, seeing hym giggle and telling me all the baby jokes, I felt happy. A feeling I could not define. Love so true. Bond so strong. ILY , darla. Im looking forward to see this lil one grow, not Qaisy, but Qayyum...

READERS ignore thys post.. Its just a random post fer me to pour out everything. Went over to north plaza, and bought a box of cigar. That was my intention.. I ended up bumping into akai and fareez.. I was hoping, wishing and praying that I wouldn't bump into that fucker. OK, im lying to myself.. He is not a fucker. Just a fugging MORON. I am not angry. I am not agitated. I am not jealous. Im SHATTERED! My heart was pounding real fast and i just acted as if im alryte. I just held hys hand (salam), and walked away. Rabia told me, he turned to look. but fcuk! what do i care. He told me, he's going baq to camp. But, so what.?.. Took the bus from the opposite bus stop. There he was, looking at my direction, SMILING. I looked away. Pretended as if, he's just a normal acquaintance. Haiz. deep in me, it hurts! as i say, im not ready to talk to hym. WORST, TO EVEN LOOK AT HYS FUGGING FACE! i cant ok!!! i just cant.. It hurts me. alot. Just leave me alone fer now. per...

Been a busy week fer me. Ive got myself stucked with sum family thingy and revisions. Im SERIOUSLY under lots of pressure. Smoking isnt the way out, i Knoe mama. I apologize fer being rude thys whole week and im sorry if ive been neglecting all your pleas. Mum, im just dazed. Im ready fer the ENGAGEMENT, yes i am. Im just afraid of the outcome. Being attached_ and i meant ATTACHED, is a hell different thing frm a normal BGR. there is a lot of responsibilities that i must carry. Mama, ive faced and seen lots of dramas. From a broken family, wrong circle of friends, riding, abuse, night life, drinking and all those shits. Those past reminds me of scars, pain, fear and trauma. Mum, im afraid.. Afraid if thys doesnt werk out. Im afraid i wun have a responsible husband. My friends told me that its too early to get engaged. But mum, U knoe best. Of all, i trust u the most. and mum, give me tyme. im having a spin in my head. SERIOUS. Akai my love, i love you soo so much. U asked me why...

And so here I am, Studying. Shucks! Exam is in a week's tyme and my only difficulty is FUNDAMENTALS OF MARKETING... Credits to Julian who taught me marketing. Thanks fer ya effort. PEEPS, I UNDERSTAND MARKETING NOW. Talking about marketing, its actually related to the experience that I've got in BUILD-A-BEAR WORKSHOP. Great, all I need now is focus.. And mama, dun U weri ok? I PROMISE I will stay focus and maintain my education standard during my engagement period. dun u weri abt that! LOL! Geez, I gotta go now... Ive got to finish up my revisions. WISH ME LUCK MATES! love. BELLA

Engagement is the sweetest thing that could ever happen to a woman. And once U reach that stage, U will tend to feel sad. A mix of emotions. U tend to think of all the FUN u used to have. The guys U used to cheat and the promises U have broken. Sometimes, U realize, Karma happens. And fer me, it happens now. Now when im facing the happiest moment of lyfe. LOVE? Sometimes. u tend to get syck and tired of it ryte?? U feel lyke everything is not ryte and all u have in mynd is nothing except fer all the NEGATIVITY! RYTE?? Ok... Im seriously fucked up with what u call LOVE . I may be gettin engaged in a month's tyme. But ITS ALL A MESS ! I Mean it MESS!!! PUT YOURSELF IN MY POSITION : U have a BF who stays with U.. Hys mobile doesnt even ring when he's with U.. Then, he told u he's going out with hys camp mates. BEING UNDERSTANDING (bloody fool), U believed hym... He wakes U up 6.30 in the morning, just fer u to open the door and let hym in. Ure tired and sleepy, yet u still...

That is the pix taken of me and boyfie ytd. and i realise im gettin chubbier la ser! wah lan! oh and yes, we are getting engaged tis year. i hope evrything goes smoothly. i l y akai.

My hair grows real fast uh? Lol. Nah, i went fer hair extensions and hell, it cost me a bomb. But seriously, im happy with the outcome. tell me. which do u prefer?