Melt me with ure kisses.

I've been stucked in my room fer the whole of 4 days! I am not in the mood to go out, long phone conversations, editing photos, listening to music, watching tv or even play my favourite game!

I wanna be here in my room. My solitude. Mum has been begging me to eat and show myself up.

I simply cant. REASON : Mama, you know best.

I am not at the best mood to DRESS UP, CLUB or whatever shyt!

Recently, Ive been having a thing fer clubs! I just hate clubs! I hate hang outs! I hate watching WEDDING DAZE! I hate the colour red! I hate strawberries(tho im craving fer it). And I hate those fucking girls who naq step maner pe yaya papaya! eeew!

I dun wanna step out of my crib.. I wanna stay here, IN MY ROOM..

Mama, dun be worry about me ok? I will be ok soon, Insya'allah.

I've been having sleepless nights fer 3 days now, What's werz, I slept at 8.45 am ytd.

I tossed and turned, On my lappie, hug my teddie, But everything doesnt work.

And so, I took a stick, and let a puff out.

Still, I feel tears rolling down my cheeks.

WHY?? Why must I suffer? How could U be soo selfish and let me face everything alone???

Now, ure asking why im all harsh.

I dun even wanna c your name on my cellphone..

And to U fucking JANDE ELLE!, i bet ure enjoying yourself with all those u call toy boys.

U claimed you're a psychiatrist? whatever the shyt! anaq tige2, pegy jage la BETINE!.

Why are U teaching my beau all the NASTY THINGS!! WHY!! Why are u spending on hym and hys frens just to get u accompanied?? And here i am, suffering. Why are U teaching hym to FLIRT AROUND, CLUB, ALCOHOLS!! WHY! Why must u ruin us?

U claimed u have the looks and the body. LET ME ADD ON. U dun have your fucking PRIDE!

ok. enough said!

Mama, i realized all my sins.

I knoe ive been a real bad ghurl.

Forgive me mama.

I love you with all my heart.

Give me tyme to heal.

Im in lots of pain.

I've never suffered thys much.

Im all lost in a world so big.

Ive never cried thys much.

and ive never locked myself thys way.

Mama, im in a mess.

a total mess i shall say.

I've commited to what ive done.

and i apologize for the hurt ive caused.

Yes, i miss a father's love.

If only daddy is here.

If only he understand.

If only I could turn baq tyme, I dun wanna fall in love.

Mama. i love you too much.

Ive caused u lots of tears.

and ive said things i shouldnt.

I dun wanna be a replica of my sister.

But i did.

WORST in fact.

Mama, maafqan zetty...

Zetty Qesal..

At tymes liqe thys, I knoe you will alwaes be around.

Its just hard fer me to SHOW it.

I LOVE U AND I APPRECIATE YOU! YOU ARE THE GREATEST!

PRINCESS ZETTY BELLA JAMES BISWAS @ NURBAZILAH 'IZZATI

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