Melt me with ure kisses.

Its gonna be my 8TEEN birthday soon. That is a definite tomorrow, 27th June. This tyme round, there will be, NO CHALET. NO PARTIES. NO SLEEPOVERS. NO BUFFETS. NO TRAVELLING. NO MANICURES. NO MAKEOVERS. Its definitely more of a simple one. No point of celebrating. Im supposed to be happy and get all intoxicated now. but its just a normal emotion. How do I explain, I do not knoe. But hey, just wait till tomorrow and see, if it actually BOOSTS MY EMOTIONS to a HIP HIP HOORAY!! Ok. Tomorrow is the last day of my contract!!! hahaha. Contract? u might be wondering what kinda business am I currently associated to. But, its my waiting contract fer my BOO, AKAI aka SHEIKH MUHAMMAD ZAKARIA. Well, if he still doesnt change by tomorrow, its gonna be FAREWELL. U knoe, if I let go, i will definitely do it. and once, ive moved on, its really hard fer me to turn baq. He's the one losing. aint my trip of a regret. Lets see what the world has fer me. Especially now, School is starting in 3 weeks ty...

Birthday is cominq. Andand School's starting! I cant wait to get my feet up and running again! Yeay, gotta status as a student. FINALLY AFTER 1 WHOLE YEAR WORKING! Mama's bringing out and my prince, akai... DUNO LAR ER! He wun tell me a thyng luh ser.... hahaha. oh yea. gtg. BELLA JAMES

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Akai and I.. We got better now. Thank gawd after the loooong Tiff!! Urgh. Hys mum knocked me into senses. Thanks to hys frens fer being sucha barrier. Wadda hell la. I dun gyve shyt now. Honestly, I am not into relationshyp. But both our families agreed to us. And Akai's family has really high hopes. * fingers crossed . Let me just follow the flow and see where this leads to. He is a changed person after I left hym pondering. Im sorry i went with other guys. They are merely frens. And trust me, it can never happen again. Just let me have a peace of mind fer now. I wouldnt wanna act on impulse or empathy.. Work is Fun fun fun. I love my bear builders and and MY CWM yee ling!! You're the best. She taught me a lot of stuffs. Its her who motivates me all the tyme. I really appreciate you. BEARY Much of LOVE, yl! Akai's sister took my "b" trademark necklace. She wants it badly as she told me, she will miss me alot! I love you, iqah. I wun leave ya brother. I simply can...

Hey, readers. Dun get bored ok?? I knoe i've been missing in action fer half a year. haha. Well, bella's been busy tis few months. Lotsa events and work to do. As mentioned in my older posts, i gotta earn that cash.. Things changed now, Back to my single lyfe. CURRENT EMOTION : happy.SAD.unpredictable. My ex boyfren, Shakir, Just passed away, 2 days ago. He died of an accident. Before he left, he told me that he is still in love with me. He wanted to seek akai's permission to bring me out fer just a day. But i refused to date hym out coz I knoe if i look into hys eyes, i will cry and cry. He has planned everything fer my birthday. and now, everything is left undone. " Princess, If u ever want me to prove u how much i loved u, i can never do it. I can only pray to God that u will realise how sincere i am towards u. AND IF I REALLY CAN WISH FOR SOMETHING, I WOULD SAY, GOD TAKE MY LIFE AWAY IF I REALLY CANT SHOW HER HOW MUCH I LOVE HER " Hys wish was granted, He left...

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Yeay! Daddy is beq in singapore todae. But he's going beq overseas tmr.. I LOVE YOU DADDY! Daddy gonna get me stuffs. get me stuffs! Hehe. I really miss that father of myne.. Im like gonna tell hym everything... MY SUCCESS, MY LAUGHTERS, MY PAIN, MY SORROWS AND MY EVERYTHING!! Daddy.. i love U so much.. Happy 2009 evryone! best wishes from the precious but precarious Princess Zetty Bella James Bieswas. ps ; im gg countdown! ooh. cant wait to get my body moving yo! hahah Mwax!

BUT IT SHOCKED ME!! HE SLEPT WITH A 14 YEAR OLD BITCH!!!!!! I HATE YOU, MORON! glitter-graphics.com

Akai, I may be a bitch foer being with u to forget someone. But now i knoe tat i rather be with someone who could make me happy. I thank u fer that. I knoe it hurts u if i mention hys name.. But the things we did together is something special. And i really treasure our moents together. Perhaps, I ought to realise that HE WAS JUST MY BESTFRIEND. Give me tyme ok dear. If U really look into my eyes, U knoe im trying really hard. And my words is so sharp that it made u furious, I promise i wun repeat the same mistake again. i dun want to lose the one who loves me fer the one whose gonna make me cry... LOVE BELLA JAMES

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I couldn't believe waht i just said last nite. I confessed to Akai.. I confessed to hymm that i still myss hafiz. I really hope he understand.. Yes, he does. AFterall, hafiz and me, we are bestfriends. Here I am, by my computer.. Listening to all the songs we sang together. In the bus. In the train. At mua place. everywher. Now. I no longer have my mr duet with me. I do myss hymm ALOT! It hurts to knoe he doesnt even care. I told akai, i will slowly forget HafiZ and we both knoe it is something impossible. How could i forget the man who was with me fer the whole of 3 years? How could i even say i dun care? I've moved on in the sense of getting attached to akai. I'm happy. Happy with my life. But there's something missing. It just feel so empty. Hell, what am i talking about? I can forget hym. I can! I am strong. Stronger than before! I pray Hafiz will be happy with hys lyfe and move on with another gal. I hope u found a new bestfriend whose way better den me. Of al...

11 December 2007 will never be a day i'll forget.. It was my company's 1st year annivesary. And its been already a year since i werked with that company. It was fun cos we gotta knoe all of our maytes. The juniors especially. It was fun werking with all of u, bear builders. Dinner was nice. Except fer the salad. it taste oh so weird. LOLS! BeQ to my victory.. I won 1st prize for halloween best dress!!! ANDANDAND.. IM THE MOST HAPPIEST TO WIN BEST CUSTOMER SERVICE 2007. Woah! I gotta heaven of shopping to do. And i bought my guess wallet and yess, gave some of my gift vouchers to mama! wowww!!! After the award thingy, at bou 11, decided to go St james wit dorcus and yana.. sadly, my bf wun allow me to do so! Oh akai.... Being the goody goody girl fer the nite, i head home. hahaha SO CONGRATS TO ME! HAHAHAHAHA

Its weird to have me surrounded by all my past. But, I appreciate it. I used to not appreciate those around me. Bitch huh? Haha, But hey, i was younger back den.. Today is the 19/11... wOw.. Tyme really flies and its gonna be 2008 soon - in a month. Two years since I last hung out with hym. Ok now, Lyfe is getting better. Yes, i min it.. B E T T E R!! Pleasure of my own privacy, leisure and JOY. That fcuka is outta my lyfe and yes, he gets to taste hys own glass of wine. I cant wait. Cant wait till he rot and die in prison... He's suffering and Im enjoying what i call, LIFE. Im seventeen. Young, curious, Naive and of course bold. He may look at me as im one of those trash along the road. Retard, i aint no junk. maybe, he ought to realise tat im tat jewel in the junk. Not being boastful or whatsoever. But what more do U expect in a gerl, who doesnt even drink, smoke or even club. Ok, i did club. But i was with my brother. I dun bother to put on what u call, concealers, compacts, ...

Success. Freedom. Strength . Yes, i've got all three to overcome the abuse. Haha. Mohd Faozy Qairawan, I've defeated U. Trust u in beating me up, burning my skin with ure ash of cigar. Yes, i suffered. Your drama is over. Ure not even my BF. I've got prove. The scars on my skin is the evidence to ure cruelty! Hafiz, Remember? U ignored my sms? Hah! I've fulfilled my promise that everything will B over in 2 weeks. And yes, Its over. Im just waiting fer that FUCKA to creep and die in PRISON ! hahaha. Now, talking about werQ. Im no longer in SIA. Cos its political. Im currently at Vivo and also, Hani Brown Boutique. Life is better now except fer my health. I've been having my period fer more den a month now. Doc suspect its cancer. Hope not. I just hope its my hormonal imbalance. Insya'allah. i've faith in myself. Tell U what, Im gonna creep to werq now. So, C ya around aite. Will Blogg more. iM Suppa bz.! Take Care. Love. The precious, Bella James

What happened to me last few nights was a nightmare. serious. I could still feel my heart beating fast. I was running again. Lucky, i escaped. Haiz. Lets not talk about that. Oh ya, daddy is back In singapore and He is getting darker and looked more malay mix now. haha. I was like telling hym tis ' Daddy, you dun look like a eurasian anymore'. And he was like ' Dear, It doesnt matter, im still gd looking.' We laughed the whole day. Daddy came back on the eve of hari raya. 1st time in 6 years now. It was my 1st time breaking fast with dad as well. Dad looked really shagged. He came back right on tym. I need hym. He hugged me as I confessed my heart ouy. He told me he was proud to have a daughter like me. wasnt rely hari raya fer us we miss the spice of our beloved Sayang Aqiesya Nur Edreanna.evri1 tot i was her. Especially now, my hair is short and i have the same hi lites as her. we moved on. Went to dad's apartment at clearwater. Amazed when i 1st stepped in.Beauti...

person who tagged you: syasya relationship with her: my gf since primary school! 5 impressions u have on him/her; understanding, crazy, can be shy, sweet, funny! memorable thing she/he has done for you: help me thru . a lot ok? =) if she/he becomes your lover,you will: if she's a he. i will TAKE GD CARE OF HER. if she's a she ; NOOOO! if he/she becomes your enemy,you will: regret. dun want it to happen. choy! he/she becomes your enemy the reason will be: she did sumthin reli wrg! betrayal? .the desirable thing you want do for him/her now is: make her happy alwaes! your overall impression of him/her is: a gd fren indeed. how do you think people around you feel about you: i dun knw. they haf their set of minds. characteristics you love about yourself: my patience, bubbly and ez going! .characteristics you hate about yourself: always hiding my feelings and trust others easi...

Currently listening to Footprints in my heart. Sorry fer being all emotional here. Being in love intoxicates everyone, especially when its your 1st tyme loving sumone. Dun get me wrong. I ain't attached. Lol! No tyme fer relationships yet. I would definitely lie if i say, i dun love enione at tis point of tyme. But i do love someone. Of course. Its a bad feeling to keep ure feelings unknown. And i will forever keep that feeling in me. Egoistic? Hehehehe. Well, im just here blogging. Im out of my rationality. Im not thinking straight. I just feel like running away. from everyone. To think of it again, I can't. I have to stay strong and pull thru. Insya'allah, Allah will give me guidance. I will continue praying and seek forgiveness from God. Perhaps Tis is just a retribution. Or is it karma happening? Gosh, i did a lot in my past, and i wun wanna look back. If its retribution, i will accept. If its a test, i would accept. Who am i to push everything away? I am just a hum...

Walk with me thru all the darkest path. Hide My tears in all your hugs. Help me run when I just couldnt run. To girls out there, never ever lose to love and sympathy. Instead, fight fer your pride and dignity. What people might think or say. shut them off. U should knoe it aint true. Here is my story and it begins with me fer a start. If u were to be close to me, you would definitely knoe how cheerful and bubbly i was. Now, All i could think of is definitely saving my life. People searching fer me fer all the wrong reasons. and its definitely not my fault. A jerk who always call and ask me my whereabouts. Hitting me fer all he cared. And strangers claiming they knoe me when they dun. You wun get the clear picture, cos whats happening to me is unexplainable. Just remember. To always stay strong. I have no one to confide in. Im just afraid to speak. I only trust 1 guy to hear me out. Cos he has always been there fer me. And i was always there fer hym. Lil did I knoe, that he doesnt se...

Pictures taken on the 20th september and 26th september. It was just me and my girlfriend.. Err, dun get me wrong aite! My bestfriend. She's like a sister to me. 5 years of friendship going 6, and still standing strong. Happy birthday, dear sis. May God Bless U in everything U do. Gal, U knoe, im alwaes a phone call away. Nurartiqah, The girl who has the keys to all my darkest secrets. ALways sharing our sorrows and laughters. We may argue at tymes but hey, It was just rumours of the red eye. Why bother? The truth is, we know each other best. Rite eqa?... Lol! I made her birthday a memorable one, i guess. I was broke and dad couldnt trf me cash due to some transaction problems and I used all tat im left with fer her card and keychain tat holds her name and her favourite ace of heart. She likes it. Well, its just a token from me to show her how much i treasure her. Thanks sis. Bella hearts eqa... Love, Bella James

Lovely friends i have. E'qa And Rabia, thanks fer hearing me out. I know ure sick and tired of me crying and grieving 2 whole months. Its already the 1st week of fasting month, alhamdulillah, i get to feel the pleasure of fasting again. Sadly, last year, it was the last tyme i celebrate both puasa and hari raya with her. I miss kakak so much. Last year, she was always asking me to go buy air katira and goreng pisang. Now, i dun even bother to go to the bazaar. Last night, i couldn't sleep. I kept on picturing her with me joking around. I miss her hugs. Oh, Allah, forgive me. I hope, my mind will be at ease soon. As for me, im confused again. What is happening to me now is very similar to my late sister. My ex boyfren tried to grabbed my attention. I didn't bother. He just hit me fer all he cared. I knoe, a jerk! Life, a lot of strangers has been askin bou me lately and I am trying to avoid the scene. I dun wanna return to who I was. It was dark past. I dun wann recall any...