Melt me with ure kisses.

Been a busy week. Ive been sacrificing my nite out just fer werk. I need to earn bucks. I dun wanna depen on dad fer money all the tyme. Haf to werk fer my mum. Again today, i saw hym online. I didn't even bother to say hello. Im afraid. Afraid he mite get the wrong idea. Giving hym the letters and shirt. I onli told hym tat online and he replied, shockingly lar. haha. whatever la. I miss hym sia. Forget it la. Im with Eqa now. Be goin out w her tmr.. lol. Work was fun and there's a lot of trainees. Was really fun trainin them. Reminded me of the tymes i started werk. hahahaha. Well,4 more months till school starts~!! "KRINNGGGG.. Bella wake up go school".. Haha. My mum wud alwaes wake me up. WISH ME LUCK OK? I gotta run. With Love, Bella James

Being busy everyday also made me realise how tis precious sweetheart yearns fer me. Pictures above shows how happy he was to see me by hys side. I cuddled hym as soon as i got home. Only god knoes how much i miss hym.. I wun wanna lose another part of me. He made alot of noises just to grab my attention. He even grabbed my uncle's cell phone. Just to show me tat he already know how to dance. He tapped on my thighs and did the clapping action. What he meant was for me to applaud hys talents. I appreciate u, my dearest Luth 'Izz Qaisy.. I will spent most of my time with u now, i promise upon myself. The picture he took on the pillow was also candid. I told him to "bam", Means sleep, in baby language, and he actually jump and fall on the pillow. He does listen to mu instructions. hahaha. I miss hym. alot. I feel like going to bed now, just to hug hym.. tc everyone Love. Bella James

Happy Birthday to my loveliest ex bf , fauzi! Haha. Treated hym to rush hour 3. Followed by rabia. My all tyme bestie. What's fun was the chaos we mad. Wads embarrasing was definitely going into the wrong theatre! Gawd!!! Haha, everyone was like staring when we 1st stepped in. When we got on our sits, we go like ; Fauzi ; U, is tis the correct seat? Me ; Dun ask. i dunno. (Turned to my left and whisper to rabia) Me ; Bia, is tis our correct seat? Rabia ; Someone's taken our seats. Fauzi ; U, i guess, we got it wrg cos the movie's ending.. Us ; S I L E N C E. We are lucky rabia got the initiative to check our tix number. And yes, we got it all wrong. Our theatre was just next door. Without hesitation, we hurried next door. Another silly act of me was not bringing the popcorns and drinks. i left it at the other theatre! Urgh!! Malu! I strongly recommend u guys to watch rush hour 3. I swear u cant stop laughing.. lol! Here i end with tis short msg, HAPPY BIRTH DAY ...

Busy Busy Busy! Was tat alwaes the reason i avoid my friends? Gosh. What haf i done. Tis pictures surely shows the negativity outta me. But heck, i dun wanna be tat anymore. Just lookin into my mum's eyes made me realize how she treasures me. I dun wanna turn precarious. NO! God. I Would rather be me. Apart from tat, im glad work is improving my life. WAY BETTER! Thank god! Ezad cudnt book out.. *SOBS. I've made a few arrangements fer myself.. Spent more tyme with mua family rather den partyin all nite. I fell sick d other nite, Vomitted since 3.30 am. I swear, it hurts. Mum Kept my blood test results again. What else can i do besides pretending? Pretending to laugh and smile? That is my only way out. I've to admit, i miss my late sister so much. Believe me, i havent passed all her letters to her frens. Am i being mean? I'll get it done soon. Oh goshness. I love myself now DESPITE all the shits i must go thru. Hey, tat is life. I've to snap to REALITY! I dun owe a...

Aint my red nose? Lol. Took a shot after all tat i cried. I've decided, im letting hafiz go.. Though its painful, still.. Its the past. Our friendship will be a treasure to me. I may spit out werds of hatred and anger, but deep down, he is still my friend. I failed to see tat all awhile he was there for me. BUt still, i cared. Missing my sister so much. The emptiness is getting stronger by day. I only have mum, abg eddie and my cousins. My friends, thanks a lot.. Ezad, thanks for hearing ,y pleas. I really appreciate it. Rabia. thanks fer holdin me when im falling. Din, thanks fer understanding... He composed songs outta my lyrics. Title ; SAYANG AQIESYA NUR EDREANA Sorrows and happiness Was alwaes shared between us Her laughter was always my spirit My plea was alwaes hers. Thorns tat hurt her Words tat harmed her Life she went thru A diary in my lyfe. Never a moment She stopped and cried Always fighting Hoping for light. Darkness occured Frightened her away Her heart Felt li...

Sorry for not updating my blog fer quite sometime. I've been busy lately. Controversial dramas have been surroundin me lately. I dunt give a damn about what that is gonna happen to me animore. I have my pride and i lead my own life. No one could ever understand me. I understand myself. People can't simply throw themselves in my position. Im beginning to love rumours. Rachel called me yesterday. Thanks fer hearing me out. To my friends out there, im sorry if I've been Missing In Action ( mia ). I Have to go all out to release everything in mind. What is happening , i couldn't understand. I promised myself not to club but now, i spent nites clubbing. I vowed not to drink. and for tat i will always promise. I've never indulge in night life before. Omg. At least, i still noe my limits. I miss you friends. Deep in me, im still the precious bella. Trust me. I swear. Loves. Bella james

I was bashed up d other dae! I lost my sister and grandma weeks ago. My ex bf was caught in an accident yesterday... And todae was goddamn DILEMMA!!! I was in the middle. Hafiz on my left and Anis on my right. I didnt noe which to pick. I need to sort things out with the both of them. I couldnt decide. Ray was already shouting "BELLA! QUICK. HAFIZ IS GETTING FAR FROM US!!!!". Shucks! I couldnt think. I wanted real bad to reach out to hafiz. I miss tat guy so so much. More den werds could express.! Urghss. Anis was givin me tis ' I need to talk' kinda look. Astaga.. God. pls help me. I text hafiz.. Hafiz ; Who are you? Bella ; Bella. Hafiz ; Bella? Hu are u looking for? Bella ; Whichever. Hafiz or Rei. I dun mind. Pls. Pls . Hafiz ; Sory. He's nt using this number anymore. He swap no wit me. Im tiara. Bella ; There's a letter from my late sis. Pls tell him its urgent. Hafiz ; I will gt to him. Bella ; But ure mum told me u didnt swap phone, apiesh. Hafiz ; Api...

Reply to my taggersLOVE ; Natrisha ; Hey Love, Im duin Great. Yourself? Miss u buckets! Nana ; Ok baby, will link ya! TC Sha ; Will link u aites, hunns. Lotsa love, Bella James

Anyone miss me? Haha. Ive been silent fer a week or two i guess. As usual, just coping with the burdens of wad u call, Life. Not to weri, im still standing strong on my feet. Moving on is wad i must do. Its true wad fauzi used to say, I need to learn how to let go. Things wun alwaes run my way. Easier said than done? *Wonders. Life without ppl i love around is goddamn hard. My greatgrandma, My father, my sister and not to forget my best buds, apiesh. My father, as usual, busy with business and projects. Apiesh, we are still not in talking terms. My sis and greatgrandma, Rip. GODbless! My abg eddie just moved in to my place. Fun and strict too! Hehs. Ive nothing to blog about now la. No idea. Will get back aites! Bella James

Yes. My birthday has passed. Happy sweet 17 to me. To all my SWEETEST FRIENDS and FAMILIES out there thanks fer the wishes. 27th June. Those readin my blog now, im soo sorry ive to cancel tis week chalet and postponed it to the 07 july due to my health condition and also, a mishap occured. i will sms u ppl soon. i promise! For work, im in a state of guilt now, i just couldnt make it tis week as my health wun permit, HORMONAL IMBALANCE hit me again. And my sincere apologies. As for ppl who have pretended to be like an angel came from up above, sorry to say tis, but ure true colours have finally shine thru the window of my eyes. So just stop pretending to ask if im ok and at the back of my neck, u wud be like "yada yada yada ya ya". _____if u get wat i min! AND PLS BITE, CHEW AND SWALLOW TIS PARAGRAPH AND PLACE IT IN YOUR IMAGINATIVE MINDS . Listen to what im gonna say. Firstly, this is mua blog and its up to me what to bitch about and whatsoever. Secondly, if u have th...

Tis is my stupid blank expression, Im down ok. really down. How can i not be down when the one i cared fer said such a thing. He said "think im dumb to tell u that.. You dunoe me yet..." For a moment, it strucked me. Pearl of tears started to drop down tis hue of mine. How could he say such a thing when we haf been thru all our ups and downs together. It takes a small thing to screw up everything. My sister, she's like no longer cumin back to singapore. Him, he hurt me so much last night. Perhaps, he didnt realise what he was saying. But if he does for a moment, Are u willing to let us go after evrything? After years of building tis bond? Or are u blind to see tat. She didnt do tat to u alone. She did the same to me. And just because we are so call "related", u gonna throw me like tat? Im glad i managed to change u to a better man last tyme, and u did change me to a better Bella. Arent u happy to see the real me? Now tat ive changed to the precious bella all o...

Finally, my bro weddiN HAS ENDED . Im happy fer bof my bro and sis in law. Im praying the best fer the both of them. I feel contented coz i was there to help my bro and be by his side. Im gonna miss runnin into him and huggin him and pinching his tummy and call hym RUDEE SPARROW. cos he could actually imitate captain jack sparrow aka my love. kwang kwang. SELAMAT PENGANTIN BARU!! MOGA BERKEKALAN KE AKHIR HAYAT. Love u all. Best wishes ; BELLA JAMES

Rei Noroimusha.. The name Rei itself hurts me. Its so painful to argue over things which wasnt my fault at all. ever. Apiesh fought with me tis afternoon. I didnt expect our conversation to turn into big form of arguments. Perhaps, as wad my frens and cousins said, it was just ns tat pressured hym and guess wad, i was god damn bz with my brother's weddin, feeling all intoxicated and omg, my feelings changed. I became all sad and down and not forgetting, CONFUSED. He told me he's not the apiesh i knew, and therefore, i told hym tat im not gonna be the Bella he used to know. He can change, so do i. Am i not wrong to say tis? Urgh. 1 week to my birthday and tis is wad happened. To deserve tis from someone i shared every smile and teardrops with. The 1st person i go to when im happy, the 1st person to go to when im down and confused. And to get tis in return is definitely out of my deepest delusions. Pls tell me it didnt happen, tell me tat it was all fable. Gosh. He's gonna br...

Enough means enough ok. Tats the picture of my new haircut, Its till my shoulder length. and i got myself a babydoll shoulder length haircut. Thanks to my beloved Pamela S who spent whole mornin doin my hair. I actually had blonde strips and pink hi lites on my hair. and seriously, it turns red when captured in camera. urgh! Enarf of my hair talk. My motive bloggin tonight, is to actually wish my brother and my kak Najihah, "SELAMAT PENGANTIN BARU" Abg, i feel honoured to be your best gerl, just now. I gave the ring and i was at my bro's side. Im like so happy fer hym. He's been waiting fer tis to arrive. and it did! Kak Najihah look splendid today. Pretty in White, holding pink roses, she looked just like a PRINCESS. Compliments fer her. Me and kak laiha was so busy since 11 pm- 6 am.9 am-12.23am. Baking cakes ferabg dee's wed. and i helped out carrying trays and foods from uncle man's restaurant, Restu. It was humid and it was werth my effort. Cos at th...

Again, there's something new abt me. I had a haircut and i coloured my hair. I love the outcome. Thanks to My pamela S. We slept at 6.30 in the mornin. Just imagine 7 hours of cut, colour and hi lites. hehs. I got my pink chunks!!! Extensions, goodbye! lol.. Great, i've been so busy lately. And i just cant wait to meet all the people i miss. My pamela S look so happy. Cuzie, i bet u miss SOB tat much!! and dearest cuzie, i miss my fish so much. and u miss ure SOB.. urgh, guys guys guys. hehs.. Lotsa love, Bella James

Here goes another day. A joyous yet exhausting day. Went to work early in the afternoon and headed to my bro's house. Well well, Today was the grand opening and shop was a chaos. Customers was all over the place. I could actually see how excited they were to build a bear. Janice and Roger (BIG BOSSES) came down to the store. Not forgettin Hui Xiang. Roger kept on emphasizing on how much he missed me as the FIRST IMPRESSION. I was the mascot today with Pilar. Wad do u expect? Im tall. haha. It was so exhausting. I was plunged in sweat. Haha. Tomorrow, im returning to my role as the First Impression. Janice was so happy. Adeline our new manager, was a fun loving person. I cant stop laughing whenever she's around. U should have seen her do the " HAPPY FEET TAP DANCE ". superCUTE!! Haha. Again, lots of new faces and i get along well with them. FUN ok! Joyce came down with her fren and bunny. haha. Thanks fer the chocolate yea?! Anderson, dun beat my bear head ok! Haha A...

Im INTOXICATED ! No words can describe how i feel. Haha. Ok, i lied. The term intoxicate explains evrthg! I've understood everything now. THANKS2 TO MY ABG RUDEE, ABG DINO, ABG AYIE AND KAK NAJIHAH . LOve u all, cousins. Haha. Stupidity ; tat explains why i cant understand signals. haha. Nah kiddin. I was too bz with my own life to just see tat opportunity ahead me. Now tat i realise, im gonna GRAB IT! Im not at home. Slept over at abg dino's house. 2mrw, he's flyin off to Brunei to serve ns. * SOBS!! ABANG.. ADEQ RINDU SANGAT NI NANTI! MAKE SURE COME HOME BY MY BIRTHDAY! He bought me a pink adidas bag for a present! thanks thanks!! Abg rudee is gettin married next week. Of all my frens. APIESH IS INVITED . Look , i dunnoe why all my cousins seem to favour him a lot. INCLUDING MAMA AND DADDY okeh! Waliao. haha. Lat two days, had a great day out with fauzi, went and watch pirates of the caribbean. hello hello. my boyfren ; JOHNNY DEPP act ok! haha. Must give hym the su...