Melt me with ure kisses.

2010-02-23T20:06:00.003+08:00

hey . i've made a comeback !!

To my dearest friends, sorry, i've been missing ..
Been busy with marriage, family and career.
Oh btw, I hate my job. Quitted. Shucks. I actually werk for a cheating company.
Promised to pay me 1200, and wen i got my cash , it was pathetic 250 dollars.
What shall i live with? Sand i guess.

Forget abt that, anyways, i am now pregnant ! yes, my baby is coming to 4 mths old. and my gender scan is on 12 march.

Sweeties, my blog has been dull huh? Miss my craps ! and i miss blogging ~! however, Valentines cum cny was fun ! pictures to be uploaded okay !

Akai, my sweetest one, got me a set of mac make up and a gucci shades! Thanks love.
While he got a burberry wallet from me.

And as for cny, Whole family came down to celeb cny. Except that this year, its without daddy or grandma. Well, its ok, i still have mum and husband ard !

Reunion dinner was super delicious. SYIOOOOK, i tell you.

Haiz, i am missing my dad tremendously. no news from him at all, last i heard, he was still sick..

Some ppl thought, even by me working and akai, i could survive.
They didnt know, how we managed to survive. Ppl still think that i mampu like before. for goodness sake, hanya allah saje la yang tawu. aqu doaqan semoga tuhan mengampuni dosa2 qau menipu aqu. aqu tawu, but i just pretended i didnt knoe, dan aqu berdoa semoge qau berjaya dan semoge diberi keinsafan pada diri qau kerana fitnah2 yg telah kau limpahkan padeku..
its okay, aqu taq lagy mcm dulu. BODOH! im wiser nw..

Karma happens. and i think it happened to you? Sayangnyer, qau taq realize kan? .. haiyo. semga diberkati allah. amin.

2009-09-26T00:12:00.003+08:00

SELAMAT HARI RAYA to all of you .
It might be a joyous season for most muslims.
However, its both sad and happy for me .
Im happy since its the first time i celebrate raya as a wyfe.
Unfortunately, my dad had a great downfall bck in jakarta.
He suffered stroke .
I wished i could just fly to jakarta now .

Daddy called.

"Sweetie, im sorry i didnt transfer you cash . Tho' you're married, i did not forget my duties and responsibilities as a father . I tried calling you but to not avail . I could barely speak my dear.
Princess, dun worry . now i want you to be strong and stop crying . i love you so much . i just need rest for now. i wished im there with you . remember, if anything ever happens to me, just know that i love you and you will always be my only princess. I AM ALWAYS IN YOU, AND YOU ARE ALWAYS IN ME."

Allah, forgive daddy for any sins he commit. please grant hym good health .
im really dwn for nw .

2009-09-16T15:36:00.004+08:00

This guy here is a friend of mine in ADMIRALTY PRIMARY SCHOOL.
.remembering the times, he called me names, and well, its normal kan? primary school habits. I got this article from a fren's tagged.
i was shocked upon receiving th news.

He was a nice guy .
anws, rest in peace my friend.

al-fateha.

2009-09-10T21:14:00.003+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BELOVED HUSBAND, AKAI !
11/09/2009.

B, bini you kanchong kan, naq post early2.. hehehes..
biase ah, semangat birthday!! hehes.

Akai dearest, we both know, what we went thru.
The rumors, the fights, the merajok2 session, my irritating prangai and your nonsense. haha, we shared too much.

Remember those days, when everything started with a simple 'u tgah uat ape'
to the extend of our 'sandcastle' story..
to our never-ending phone conversations.
our exchange of mms.
everything blossomed to a wonderful relationship,
then, our first fight, so on and so forth .
We got separated yet we never part .
And today, look at us, we are officially husband and wife.

We've proved many ppl they are wrg abt us, darla.
We made it this far. and despite all the problems we gonna face in future, just remember how we pulled thru.
just remember those jokes we made.
Isnt it sweet , baby?

Ive never forget those first times we had.
And i will never forget us.

AKAI..

Just remember, i might not be blessed with a pornstar bodyshape and
a divaqueen pretty face, but im blessed with a heart which constantly worries for you and provides unconditional love. I love you not for what you are, i love you for you, even your weaknesses.

AKAI ..

Its your birthday , i bought you a small token, and i shower you with all my blessings, my love, my faith and my prayers. I give you my all.
I might be sharp with words, but im weak at heart.
Just dun take whatever i might said sarcastically to you.

Remember, we have a future,
from now on, i want you to be the best that you can ever be!
prove to everyone that you're successful!
Im always behind you, supporting..
I will never fail you, neither have i failed you.

I love you so much baby. more than what i could say or do.
Have a happy life.
Im very much happy to have you my certified husband !

HAPPY BIRTHDAY !
XOXOXO,

your superduper ngade2, irritating and shmelly wyfe,

Bella James.

2009-09-08T23:02:00.000+08:00

Korang2. I have deleted my tagged account .
I dun want to be the reason for hacking or changing someone's acct ..
I am sick and tired of everything.
I can be contacted through msn, since i'll be deleting facebook as well.

So, have a nice day ppl ! =)

2009-09-08T16:10:00.002+08:00

Great , my hair is short again .
Its now shoulder length .
Akai wants me to forget bout extensions..
Boohoo !

Alrite, watched final destination 3d , the other day, ratings was a-okay .
Apparently, i was hospitalised again last sat .
Long story for a short, only my family and in laws know why.
To my frens who pretended to care, please forget abt me.

I gave up .
Tired of two faced sluts .

And, again, ive been damned busy with home affairs.
Im in need of rest .

pardon for my short post, i need to take my pills now.
tc,

2009-08-28T22:24:00.002+08:00

WHY DO MEN TREAT WOMEN A STEREOTYPE?

Often , men tend to have a higher level of authority to take charge and be in charge .
However, in my personal point of view, guys who fucks randomly are nothing but a piece of junk being dumped and all mud up .

Sharing their so called personal exchanges of compliments to friends/girlfriend, hurts .

I would totally disagree on guys having to blame women for their naivity in believing words of fable and lies .

However, a guy would treasure a lady if he respect her feelings, right ?
In this modern era, women are stereotypes.
Having sexy figures on posters, making them despise their own beau .
Oh i pity those women, SEX SLAVES !

Meanwhile, men cricticize women and freely call her cheap, when they are not much of a difference .

They are even cheaper , having to have their cocks sucked and pumped for free !
stupid right ?

Guys and lies .

Now tell me, whose to be blamed ?

2009-08-28T17:54:00.017+08:00

16th August marks th most remarkable day of my life .
The day i stepped to adulthood- MARRIAGE.
I'm finally a wife to Mr Sheikh Md Zakaria aka Akai .
A mixed emotion fell upon me .

Its a feeling of joy, happiness, blue and fear .
My greatest fear is actually marriage .
Im afraid, i might lose it . But lets be positive .
I shall learn from th past and not make history repeat .

Everyone was ard, unfortunately, daddy had to attend a very important meeting in Bali. Abg Eddie can't get his leave, abg dino was in malaysia .

However, im glad, everything went smoothly .
To my friends who attended my wedding, thanks a trillion .
and to rabia, thanks for sleepin over to help out .
Well, at least, you've got your reports done, kankankan ! hehehe . i suke !

Nevertheless, mama, who plays th main role in decorating th hantarans .
clean up and set everything up .

Kakak, to actually help out .

Daddy, for your greatest support , and for th cash you gave to make my wedding a successful one .

Insya'allah, akai's side will be doing anth wedding ceremony . (sanding) in october .
I will update you guys again .

Pictures to be uploaded again ! more to come ayte !! heeehee

2009-07-28T12:51:00.003+08:00

Mama has started her depression period again .
Yesterday she expect the kitchen to be shining clean.
she dun want to see a single grain on the sink .

Today, she suddenly calls me musibat because she's utterly mad at my dad.
And the fact that she always relates me to my dad hurts me more and more each day.
I cant tahan this house anymore.

Im glad akai is taking me away from everything soon enough .
and i depend on you for a better future.
as im blogging, she's doing her regular routine,
calling my mother in law telling her the things she claimed i did when i did not .
so, thats it la kan. bingit ah !!!!!

oh btw, die taq pernah mcm gini ah !!!

2009-07-27T13:57:00.002+08:00

I'm glad akai is in the pink of health, again !

As for me, im the one who is currently down with a high fever, 38.6 degrees.

please eh, not H1N1 tau !! lol ..

I shall thanks mama and akai for taking a good care of me this whole of 2 days .

Akai, tho i might be damn irritating and cranky during my fever period, im glad you're able to stand all my nonsense .

Akai fed me porridge, made me drinks, sponged me and even massage me .

He even monitor my medications time .

Thanks baby .

apart from that, mama did sponge me as well .

Akai is currently at work ,

I cant wait for him to be home .

Well, i do miss my schoolmates truckloads.

Anyway, sorry dolly plan was cancelled, im having a ridiculous high fever .

Sorry rina, taq dapat gy open house qau semalam, i demam la you .. hehehe

Zura, sorry taq angkt qol qau yer, aqu tdo siang, matlumla, kene sumbat dgn ubat, ape ke tdk, terus gone siol ! hehehes.

2009-07-24T19:15:00.003+08:00

Ive been home the whole of today .
Mama went to work .
Akai, he is at home .
He is down with a high fever.
Alar, kesian larh qan .

Supposed to meet zura and rina yesterday, however, it was a last minute plan and i have to spend th whole day with my family .
Went to malaysia .
Had an early night .

Ive been wondering about my future , th whole entire tyme.
Yes, sometimes friends come and go .
But i simply loathe it when ppl tend to be all candy sweet in front of you and from th back, they tend to be a rotten piece of junk .

Haiyor .

Well, its hard to predict me .
One thing for sure , i am very sensitive but i can be blunt.
My classmates and school mates knows just what i am talkinq about .

Guess, i gotta roll now.
I havta cook dinner .

adios .

AKAI, GET WELL SOON .
SEE, WE MISSED OUR TRIP TO KOTA TINGGI TOMORROW ! HMPFT ..
Love ya

2009-07-22T05:02:00.009+08:00

2009-07-22T04:57:00.004+08:00

I am seriously looking for a job .
Anything related to customer service,office .
I am mundane having to stay home and earn nothinq .
Well, its been awhile since i last updated my blog .

Ive yet to change my blogskin.
And I shall update you again on my outings and hang outs.
Oh yea, as for now, let pictures do th talking .
adios.

I cant wait for national day .

I'v

2009-06-14T10:54:00.004+08:00

Given my leniency, i was taken advantage of.
Given my strength, i did not understand the term 'fall'.
Given my forgiving nature, I was told nothing but lies .
Given my affection , I failed to move on .
Above all, I tend to move forward, hang on , and never let go .

With all that is happening in my life, I believe it is a test from Allah .
And all i ever seek was guidance .
Mama used to be there for me .
However, I dun wanna trouble mama for all the shits that im going through .

With a tough family situation , complicated friendship fights, some money matters ,
myself and a smooth sailing yet rocky relationship.

I am just like a numbskull.
It hurts too much for me to act.
I am all weak.
Eyes dried out .
4 nights, alone .
Subtract one of the nights when dolly actually sacrificed her tyme for me.
Today, rabia is gonna bring me to a ride on her bike.
Yesterday, I broke a glass of water.
Mama is having some weird feelings.
As though, something was wrong .
I am feeling the same thing either .

Okay, I am depressed with everything, the change in me, as well.
I cant bear looking myself at the mirror.
I felt so fugly .

Daddy is caught up with work.
Oh, the good thing is, 13 more days to my birthday.
But, what's the big deal?
I have nothing to be proud of.
Nothing to celebrate .

I am being so petty, right?
complain, complain and complain.
I am so weak that i kept on crying .
Gosh, this shouldnt be it.
I have yet to find the strength within.
My mind keeps telling me to go.
My inner voice is telling me to stay .

Am i too controlling ?

.

2009-05-28T05:28:00.003+08:00

As for today, im happy , i got to be with bby the whole day.
Gosh , i really miss th tymes i had w hym .
Tho' sometimes, i got hurt by th little things he said, he will never fail to make me smile with hys silly acts.

Today, we challenged to a game, called, bejewelled blitz in facebook.
Afterwhich, mama wanted me to go courts and pay those bills .
Akai accompanied me, met Farhan for awhile, and after some time, he went off to hys uncle place.
Went jalan2 w baby at causeway point, bought perfumes and go makan at triple 8 with Max, eve and my sweetlove .

Had meatloaf spaghetti while akai had Chicken chop.
We then headed to NTUC to get some barang barang important kitchen.
Got some snacks, toothpaste, milk, cereal, and bought mee goreng 'mamak' for mama.
I thought of getting mama, nasi ayam penyet.
Sadly, th service was 0. YES, ZERO.

Imagine a long queue, three stallholders, and all three of them busy talking and focusing on one customer's order, the satay. I waited for almost 15 minutes.
Fed up, i went to th next stall. and get mee goreng.

Stressed, we went to th carpark, smoked.
And thanks to akai, he actually took my contact lense's box and place it somewhere near th carpark's roof. I wasnt tall enuff to grab those .
Merajok-ed, akai took my contact lenses and gave it back to me.
Jahat qan dier? Yes, he is a big bully !! BIG BIG bully. always bully sayer taw. hmpf !
Then, we actually wrestled, he grabbed my neck and with one hand, i actually got myself free from hys so call "arm lock" AHAHAHAHA. No larh, he pushed me to th bushes and i admit, it was painful. Nowadaes, im damned weak la. badan sakit2 u know. head kept spinning .

Grr.

Afterwhich, deliver food to mama for free, den lepak with max eve and baby at grandcity neighbourhood coffeeshop.
Saw edastar, and since she wanted to tag along, we got her to join us for a while.
Last but not least, head home, and akai wanted to watch soccer so much.
Unfortunately, he is all asleep now despite th loud music on my Television. ahahs
da penat la kan jalan2.

Kay la, I gotta go now, cos i gotta wake bby up in 15 mins tyme, wanna iron hys uniform first .
Till then,
Have a nice thursday people.
oh btw, be playing badminton today, tho i hate playing badminton since it is one of my "not pro'' sports.
Kayla, CABOTTTTTSSSSS !

2009-05-28T04:58:00.004+08:00

Things have been really tuff for me that I almost burst my head off .
However, Ive been releasing my stress mostly by sitting and lepaking alone.
Nowadays, with none of my friends.
Since most arent those late birds. Even if they are, they are th ones staying far away from Woodlands.

Bella, alone ? It might sound weird to most but its th fact.
99.9% of my friends are mostly busy with their lives.
My mum is busy for her wedding preparation.
Daddy, as usual, busy with hys career .
My brothers, have been busy ever since they each have a beau.
My Akai, he is so busy with hys friends and as i say, i hardly lepak with hym nowadaes.

So, yesterday, i met rabia at 7, she somehow, made me laugh, and i love you so much for that .
Afterwhich, akai came by, accompanied by pendek and ipan came over, sometyme later .
Lepak-ed with me for awhile, akai then go jalan2 w hyss frens, without allowing me to follow cos he told me he's gonna be out for a while .
but deep down my heart, i knoe, he's gonna take a long tyme .

Lucky enough, Max and eve came to th RC, talked, and went off at about 11 3o pm followed by rabia.
Till then, i was alone at th void deck till i fell asleep.
sad kan?
I woke up to a kiss akai gave me on th neck, and i was actually crying .
Perhaps, i was too afraid . I am not confident about myself whenever he talks to me abt his past acquaintances as well as other ladies. I felt low. and yes, it hurts me listening to th conversations he and his friends had last night .

Later at night, forced myself to sleep,
dreamt of th ponti ponti again, 2 tymes, to th extend of akai waking me up.
I hugged hym real tite cos i was really afraid .
Got baq to sleep and I actually dreamt of my late grandfather .
He was asking me if i wanted to followed hym.
As soon as i answered, 'where to?', akai woke me up.
And again, i woke up to a wet pillow, thanks to those tears which drop down my hue.
sedih kan hidup aqu? baaah -.-'

Kay la, man U lost. =(

2009-05-24T17:25:00.006+08:00

The one that im most devoted to .
The one I shared everything with .
The one that makes me cry and laugh at the same tyme.
Everything about us is just so perfect.
Except for the fact that th both of us have our own temper.
And th both of us seem to be totally opposite .

At tymes, when i've had my ego, akai would say "macam ye ye".
By right, ive got my reasons .
Nowadays, just nowadays, we barely lepak outside, we hardly go jalan2, we hardly have fun tymes outside.

I miss th tymes i hang out w hym.
Miss th tymes, he criticized my pool skills.
Miss th tymes, we had our fun playing games in th arcade.
Miss th tymes we go out to hunt for rojak.
Miss th tymes we went out for a movie.
Miss th tymes i watch hym play soccer.
Miss th tymes i see hym fall asleep on my shoulders.
Miss th tymes we spent outside.

Nowadaes, i can't follow hym whenever he is w hys frens.
At tymes when im down and all alone, all i need is hym.
and at tymes when i get mad, all i want is a hug.
At tymes when I argue, i want him to understand.
At tymes when im afraid, i wanna lay right next to hym..
At tymes when im lonely, i wanna hear hym say he loved me, like how he used to.

To hym, im being unreasonable.
To hym, im irritating.
Yes i am.
Tho i see hym evry morning and every night,
I really miss the times i have with hym.
I miss every single time i spent with hym.
Now, as im spending my tymes with my girls,
It looks as tho as im single when im not..
My girls kept asking, "ey, qau dgn akai kn loving couple, da taq qlua together?".
It cuts me so deep inside, i just smiled and say "Akai busy..".

Akai sayang ..
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND YOU KNOW THAT.
YESTERDAY I WAS OFF YOUR LIMITS.
AND I WAS ON YOUR NERVES.
I AM SO SORRY I'VE BEEN IRRITATING.
FOR WHATEVER REASONS,
I DO LOVE YOU AS A WHOLE.
8 BILLION PPL IN THE WORLD, AND ALL I WANT IS YOU.
YOU KNOW, I WOULD DO AND RISK ANYTHING FOR YOU.
YOU KNOW I WOULD FIGHT FOR YOU.
NOW THAT IVE GOT THE MOST OF YOU,
I JUST WANT THE BEST OF YOU.

AFTER DADDY LEFT SINGAPORE,
AND MAMA IS BUSY,
YOU KNOW, I RELY ON YOU.
AND YOU KNOW I CNT BEAR LOSING YOU.
AND DARLINQ,
I HOPE YOU WUN BE MAD IM POSTING THIS ENTRY.
I COULD BARELY SPEAK.
AND IM GONNA BE SILENT AND LET YOU DO WHATEVER YOU WANT.
even if it breaks my heart.

2009-05-19T18:25:00.005+08:00

Above is Nana.
Its been awhile since I last met her.
Met her last afternoon and went jobhunting.
Afterwhich, visit Qisya at her werkplace back in novena.
BITCHED.SMOKED.EAT.LAUGHED.

Went to admiralty and wait for Nana's TTM to fetch and bring us To Yishun Dam.
I really miss those times i have w mama and abang eddie.
Especially those times when he still have his bike.
Unfortunately things happened and now, he is without a bike.
Talk some sense to Nana.
She wasnt in her right sense of rationality .
Urgh, sometimes, boys suck ! Agree?
After some chatting, we realized its already 9.40pm
and i need to get back home since Akai is already waiting for me at my void deck.
Being th gundu gf, i rushed home.
Unfortunately, ive to wait for belardy 16 mins till akai reach ! -.-'
He's lucky i was in my best mood.

Earlier this afternoon, ive actually got plans to go bugis with nuruljade and nanastar.
However, plans was cancelled due to some reasons.
As for nana, her bf's mum bestfriend (okay, i might as well say, A friend of her bf's mum),
just passed away, and nana needs to attend th funeral.
im so sorry for you babe.
Innalillah. May peace be upon her.
since all plans was cancelled, i got onlyne and found izza.
Izza nudge me and ask me for a meet up.
Took 969 and met izza at tampines.

Gosh, im happy she's getting married.
At the same time, im happy to have contact all my long lost friends.
Later at night, met eve and max, played badminton !
Best gytu qan?
Hehehss.

Okay, my bad, akai was mad at me cos i didnt even bother to inform hym i was out.
Well, actually i did. but, urm, lets just say, MY BAD.

Akai opened th gate for me, and i was happy to see hym !
Hahaha.

As for tomorrow, i'll be going to lavendar w nana,
and be home by 6 to pass akai th housekey.
Oh yes, I managed to cook SAMBAL SOTONG just nw =)
Thumbs up bella !
as for my sweethearts, thanks for making my dae !

DOLLY, I MISS YOU, JUST WHEN WILL YOU BE FREE !! ? =)

2009-05-17T14:12:00.002+08:00

Pictures was taken last year before I even went to genting w akai's family .
Im seriously feeling mundane .
Have no plans in mind.
Im just tired of being home. grr -.-'.

Chat w the only nuruljade,
I really hope she'll be alrite.
Gosh, im really worried now.
Hope nuthing happens.
Nurul, you are strong kay B! Qau boley make it nye. dun wery, aqu support! =)

Baby went out to B.gombak, told me he's gonna be out for a while.
I have no idea, whom with .
I'll assume with his campmate.

I miss my nightlife and i miss my babybitches!
Met some of my minah minahs at 500 plus ytd.
I super miss farah.
Pictures shall be uploaded as soon as farah msn me those pictures.

2009-05-14T14:59:00.003+08:00

Ive been missing my girls alot .
Especially those whom have been with me thru out .
Wasnt in th pink of health, thanks to th coldsejukhotpanas weather.
PFFT -.-'

Was in my most crankiest mood ever last night.
Nothing just feels right.
I even had a short-term argument with bbyboy.
Im lucky it ended with a hug.
Again, he managed to make me smile and put me to sleep.
ILY sugarpie.

Ive no plans for today and im feeling all mundane.
Ive been a good girl lately since ive been staying at home for the past week.
On another hand, ive been missing school a lot.
I miss th chaotic fun in school.
I miss gossiping.
I miss making fun of my lecturers.
Grrr .

Im starting school in a few months time, i just cant wait.
Pardon me for using simple english this tyme round.
Im tired and im not in my best mood.
Still cranky, that is.

.

2009-05-12T13:00:00.003+08:00

Met my bestfriend to settle some scores.
Im confused, myself.
Im caught between my future family and my bestfriend.
I really feel like putting this matter at peace.

I have had enough cracking my brains and thinking of all th possibilities.
Lately, ive been stucked at home spending most of my time w my akai.
Today, be going out and get some stuffs.

Okay, im gonna end my post here and continue playing poker, ive got a fullhouse!!! lol

2009-05-08T20:38:00.004+08:00

Super mundane can?
I swear its a fucking hot day.
and i cant tahan th oh sungguh panas weather.
makes me nanak makan but wanna drink ice ice water.
Urgh.

Sungguh tiring okay?
And akai still have the heart to play soccer.
Stubborn baby stubborn !
LETHARGIC= never in hys dictionary.
and yeay, im getting more girlfies.
and zura, pls girls out soon okie?

Ive been neglecting my friends after what happened.
And its seem hard to trust nowadays.
Akai, thanks bby, thanks for being w me thru out.
you're th sweetest thing ever.

ILYSM.

Get that in your thick skull puhlease.
And dolls, my hp is super rosak.
I cant even turn it on, so u know where to find me, hunneh.
Mama, daddy or akai, either one of you, get me a phone w gd camera quality please???
Lol.

Went out to grab lunch earlier on,
afterwhich, went lepak-lepaking w my baby and hys boys.
and now, im super tired.
Rabia cant make it.
Eve cant make it.
eeeee ! korg nieee.
Bile nyonya nie free, mak senek mak senek aku pulak taq free.
ape mcm?
haha.

Actually, i miss hanging w e'qa a lot.
seriously.
Im gonna shut my lights early today.
penat okayyyyyyy !

2009-05-08T10:08:00.003+08:00

Pardon my masai face and my ubber short shorts.
I was at home, so, what d'you ppl expect?
Anyways, my dreams have been telling me things, i guessed.
Last few nights, i dreamt of me walking in th middle of th cemetery.
Afterwhich, i headed to somewhere near th entrance and realized that at every angle there is at least a 'pontianak' standing, doing nothing.
It scares me off my veins.
and i couldnt sleep after that.

I've been asking myself why I kept on dreaming something weird and scary.
So, i drank my hot milo and headed back to sleep.
I really forced myself to sleep since i didnt wanna wake akai up and disturb hys charming sleep.
Right after, i dreamt of weird creature.
Its tall, its black and i couldnt see the face.
Th creature is trying to make me suffer and kill me.
Again, i woke up, this time, in cold sweats.
I got so scared, i switched the lights on and chant some surah2 that i know of.

I woke up, told mama about it.
Mama just gave me a hug.
Akai, he says , its nothing.

After a few days, things have been happening in my life.
People have been messing with my life.
Trying to backfire me.

My own friend whom i actually treated like a sister, turned her back away and said the darnest things about me.
Out of rage, i cried, feeling all disappointed.
I trusted her so much, she actually played my back.

No matter how furious or angry i am towards her, ive never spread a rumour about her neither have i revealed her secrets. Tables have turned, i guessed? 8 years, and its over.
Why i say its related to my dreams?
Take a look at th cemetery, the pontianaks and me, and the night scenery.

PONTIANAKS - Ppl who messed my life
NIGHT - Darkness

So, the people who messed my life actually buries me deep down my own graveyard, making me suffer, hence, feel all depressed and in th dark.

CREATURE - Them again

Trying to kill me alive.

Make sense doesnt it?

Okay, im so down right now.
Maybe, my sacrifices isnt enough that they havta actually play these games.
Even now, its hurting me, their secrets is safe in my hands.
Maybe, they wun realize, or they would.
IM NOT THAT RICH AS WHAT YOU PPL MIGHT THINK.
I DON'T OWN TH FUCKING CASH.
I DIDNT EARN IT.
ITS FROM MY DAD.
SO PLEASE, STOP THINKING I HAVE ALL THE MONEY.

And just because of a sum, ppl get agitated.
I think, th money ive spent for you people is just more then enough.
Im not gonna ungkit. taq heran pon.
At the end of the day, aqu pe yang jahat. aqu tawu.
and..
i understand, nie la manusia,jasa org tidak terlihat, jahat org semuernye nmpk...

2009-05-01T00:41:00.004+08:00

Trust issues sucks right? I mean, most ladies would definitely agree on that.
People might see me as an open-minded, heck care kinda babe, Unfortunately, i have a lot of insecurities. And I need to execute that feeling away from me . It would definitely lead to an unhealthy conflict .

I am very happy to be blessed with a 3 year relationship.
and i thank allah for giving me th guidance through out.
See, all i ever need is just a piece of honesty and faithfulness from my other half.
And im blessed to have one.

But recently, i realized i cant restrict or command someone to do something they would repeat.
I agree, once, twice, thrice, you will always do a lil give and take.
However, when th limit has been breached, then, thats it.

I will never end this relationship. If i have the power to control things, i would want things to sail smooth. Nevertheless, control my emotions.

Th problem is me and its an irritating fact.
I do trust him. But i have precautions too.
Now, im so gonna shut my eyes, bite my lips, lock my tongue.
I am never gonna open up. Neither would i suspect.
Even if th suspicion is there, i'll pretend, nothing ever occur.
Hence, blame it on my PMS.

So, if anything were to go wrong, i will definitely blame myself for not being a good girl.
I am seriously sick with th problems occurring every now and then.
Im tired of these sleepless nites.
Sick of these eyebags.
Deprived from my past and im really tired of crying.

I hate th fact that once i fall in love i fall hard and i will go all out in a relationship.
However, this tyme round, things will change.
I will be stronger than i was before.
And i will face and fight for everything.
In fact, what doesnt kill me, makes me stronger.

So even if i smile, or laugh, it doesnt mean im happy.
Sometimes, i do pretend to save a bond, friendship or relationship.
I have swallowed enough.
And, th pain is just unbearable.

And as for you ppl who keeps on talking behind my back,
I knoe you love it, you can eat my shit.
Hate me, then face me.
I dun need unneccessary stress for now.
I really need a time-off.
My mind is in a mess.
My heart is lost .
so please, understand.

AND I LOVE MY BABYBOY A LOT !

2009-04-30T03:17:00.027+08:00

PICTURES TAKEN ON THE 28TH OF APRIL

oh, sorry for the bad image quality.

It was taken from Akai's front camera.

I promise a better picture soon !

ENJOY.

Hate it, might as well, leave.

and and pardon our masai and tired faces ! -.-'

2009-04-29T06:12:00.002+08:00

Met bby earlier on .. Okay, its 6 am now , and it was yesterday when i met bby.

Baby bought a new phone, LG viewty. and he seriously need to buy me one on hys next pay? kay kay kay kay?? hehehe.

My phone is spoilt but its okay, i gave in since bby's phone is a total jahanam. Kene campak. Why? Its between you and me kan? jatuh longkang laaaa. hehehe..

Made baby promise not to keep in contact and flirt with chiqas. I hate it everytime he does dat. INSECURITIES.

Afterwhich, met Eve and Max somewhere not far away from my crib. Akai treated us pool and it was a hell lots of fun. Akai bought a new phone but i was th one busy godey godeying his phone! term sungguh the bella language! lol . pictures will be uploaded as soon as bby bluetooth-ed th images to my beloved pink laptop.

Now, my dearest is on hys way to work while i cant put myself to lala land. Sungguh stress di rumah okay? And daddy is starting to cut my expenses and make me control my budget cos something BIG is happening in either June or August. Cant tell you what, but its a surpriseeeee !

I'll update more on that once th date is close enough . jeahahahahaah..

Baby wants to meet me after work today and watch BOHSIA. (is tat even th correct spelling).

PS. I discovered a new finger placing when holding a cue. Okay,terime kaseh byk2. saya bukan pro lagy, tetapi sayer darh happy tersgt sgt sgt..

Oh yes.. Daddy daddy have been asking me over to Bali ! i wun go , i wun leave my kakai behind kay ? no no no.. rinduuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu !

Okay off now.

Im currently addicted with POKER!

2009-04-27T02:42:00.002+08:00

A picture says a thousand words.

But like th picture above, my life is just way opposite.

Ppl just love watching th way i live.

And i hate th fact that its their entertainment.

Some bitches admit they wanna be like me or get near me .

But seriously, you won't be loving the life i am leading .

The house doesnt feel a home animore.

Its as though, im living life thru hell.

I am glad akai have been there.

Make me laugh when i cry.

Make me believe, nothing is wrong .

Now, he is out of my crib ..

I am already crying drastically on how much i want hys embrace.

Its okay, 3 more hours till i see hym again.

For now, th truth have become lies. and the lies became the truth.

I'm confused and im just waiting for my name to be cleared.

Urgh .

fuck...

2009-04-23T09:09:00.005+08:00

Pictures above was taken yesterday .
Baby had a half day off work , afterwhich, met me at bukit gombak for as early as 9.40 am.
We had some family gathering going on .
Both our parents and us except for my daddy, that is .

It was a remarkable day, and we had an early lunch.
I swear it was such a humid day .
Irritating, i know .
Baby and i have been drinking lots of water nowadays,
we have been neglecting fooooooood !
Good kay akai, i can lose weight, if not he will always ajak me go makan and make me eat.
blearghs !

Okay, im off now.
Be meeting akai's aunt and buying some groceries.
Getting akai his cereals, milk, and kunyah2 which will be shared by Miss Bella James.
Ahah.

See ya people !

2009-04-18T01:56:00.002+08:00

Pardon my muke taq perlu .

Haha,

Met eve earlier on .

Afterwhich, met max and my akai .

Glad, things have been smooth.

Tho' I must learn how to control my bitchy mouth .

I was sarcastic. But it was unintentional.

Things have been good.

Its hard to contaq hym now cos his hp is spoilt .

and i hvta wait for his call every now and then.

Urgh.

Guess now, i gotta get th dice rolling, lets just play th same games .

I'll play th "i dunoe anything" kinda bbygirl okay.

I'll be more flexible.

gaaaah !

Love you much.

2009-04-17T07:23:00.002+08:00

VIRGO AKAI AND CANCER BELLA

Cancer Woman & Virgo Man

This match is very good for you and can definitely lead to lasting love. You have a lot of things in common with the Virgo boy, like your love for order and routine. Security is very important to you and you will find that in this relationship. You also have good chemistry in the romance department. You will draw out the passionate side in each other that you both keep hidden away most of the time. Because your needs are similar, you respect what each other want from a relationship. You will feel fulfilled emotionally in this pairing and fights about either one of you flirting will be few. A good love match.

Can you say perfection? When Cancer girl teams up with Virgo boy, friends and family have a magnet for good times and group activities. Backyard BBQ's, movie nights, and Sunday dinners…. you're the belles of the ball. Everyone wants to be near the warmth and good vibes that you have for each other.

Personalities mesh well. Cancer understands Virgo's fussy ways. Each is anxious to please the other. This could work out fine. Cancer may have to warm up Virgo a little but there is fire under all that ice. Cancer and Viragos money goals are the same. Cancer understands Virgo?s fussy ways, and steady Virgo helps balance viable Cancer. Both are anxious to please each other. Both like money and domestic comforts. Both are affectionate but both are also very critical. Each draws the other out of their shell.

2009-04-17T07:07:00.003+08:00

Took an emotional quiz and here it is ;

You're holding on to a hurt feeling caused by past relationships and having trouble in trusting again.
Its time to learn from your mistakes and move on.
Get rid of the self pity that is currently controlling your love life.
You might be tempted to date another mismatch, thinking wrongly, that if it can't turn into a relationship, you won't get hurt.
You are too fragile now for those games.

Baby , you've been extremely busy .
and we have been lacking time together.
I miss you so much .

2009-04-15T06:09:00.003+08:00

Patience is a virtue.
Met bby and am glad everything is settled now.
Okay, here is another random post based on LIFE.

Readers, imagine yourself sacrificing your everything to th one you love.
Staying under one roof and have all the good times together.
One fine day, you happen to read a message in his inbox saying all those sweet nothings.
Afterwhich, u called th other party upon suspicion.
U got to knoe th one you love have actually betrayed you .
He said th nastiest things abt you when you were th one who have been w hym thru his ups and downs.
What would you do?

Lucky, it didnt happen to me ...

2009-04-15T00:05:00.003+08:00

This song is super meaningful okay? damn it . lol

Dimalam sepi ini, teringat kisah cinta ku
Bila ku keseorangan
Wajahmu menjelma

Sewaktu bersamaku, kau tak menghargaiku
Kini kau ku tinggalkan,
Setelah ku dipermainkan..

Tapi malangnya nasib diriku,
Ku taq mampu untuk melupakan mu
Kini ku sendiri, menangisi,
pemergianmu, kekasih hati..

Ku sering terbayang
Kenangan kita bersama
Engkau berjanji setia
Akhirnya ku yang terluka..

Setahun darh berlalu,
Ku tk dpt melupakanmu
Tpi tiada ku sangka,
Kini kau sudah berpunya..

Tapi ku masih sayang
pada dirimu seorang
dan aku akan menantimu
Hanya engkau yang ku sayang..

Aiyai ! dun get me wrong okay, im still happily taken by my kakai..
I guess, if we were to break up, then , this would be dedicated to hym cos its true, guys tend to move on easily than ladies.
And kakai, better not leave me cos I love you fucking much !

2009-04-14T09:13:00.004+08:00

In school, Ive learnt that aggression is bad .
Acting on impulse, saying things you dun mean to will eventually turn everything th opposite way .
As for me, PMS is a bitch and I hate having to deal with PMS every single month .
Last night was fucked up.
I was petrified someone was stabbed at my void deck.
I was upset everyone was picking on me .
I was even mad when Baby misunderstood me.

Its been almost 3 years now baby, and you should know how deep my fucken love is for you .
Its me and my mouth . gaah ! Can someone just murder me ?
I should have understood you're feeling all blue and lethargic .
I should have just ignored your temper.
I should have just let you cool off.
I should have talk to you in a nice manner instead of scolding you in th presence of my friends.
I am sorry for embarrassing you. I didn't mean to break your heart .
I didn't mean to say those things to you .
I didn't mean to just shout at you in that manner .
Baby, I know you're reading this.
Bella sorry okay sayang?
and i know what you gonna say, you gonna tell me , its easier to say sorry and forget everything .
Come on baby ! cheer up ! Aqu sayang qau bodoh .

On another hand, stress have got me all tied up again .
Everything was a mess last night .
I simply blacked out .
I fainted half way through home .
Thank Allah, Eve and Max was around to help me.
Mama rushed down to help.

The feeling sucks,
I could hardly breathe.
I could barely speak.
I couldn't even feel myself .
I was weak and numb .
I tried my best to open my eyes, Unfortunately, i can't.
It was a blurry vision, i swear.
I even feel like i was on th roller coaster .
My head felt heavy .

Urgh, i hate stress ! cos stress caused me to have my hormonal imbalance .

Now, im gonna creep in my blankie and try my v best to sleep .
I shall just wait for my bby to finish work .
I guess i wont be out from my crib for a couple of weeks.

take care readers.

AKAI, GW BENARAN NI MOHON MAAF.
AKU SYG QAU BODOH !

2009-04-12T00:32:00.003+08:00

Hello sunshine ! I miss updating my blogg.
Sorry bloggie, ive abandoned you . lol .

Okay, things been pretty smooth this few weeks.
Alhamdulillah, Allah have answered my prayers .

On the other hand, Im getting better .
My health is much more stable and I could predict if im gonna be down for another hormonal imbalance attack .

Am currently chatting w dolly n i miss her much .

Akai went out to get me ciggs and get mama her nescafe .

Im ubber mundane now .
Guess, im gonna have an early nite tonite .
Pictures cant be uploaded just yet.
Kakak gue paitao sih ! aduh !

2009-04-07T17:04:00.004+08:00

Its been awhile since I update my blogg yea?
Oh, thanks feeqa! Its no longer dusty . lmao.
Both 3rd and 4th April was a bomb.
it was mama's birthday on th 3rd, and Eve's on the 4th.

Pictures above are actually pictures taken on eve's birthday.
Oh, the 1st photo is taken on mama's bdae. Ive yet to receive more pictures from bigg systa.

As for now, my baby is sleeeping so soundly! Geram i geraammm. mcm naq cubit2 hys pipi you knoe.. Oh yes, he's right beside me. Im contented .

chao .

2009-03-28T22:01:00.003+08:00

I spent my saturday , lazing at home the whole day .
Lucky me, Max & Eve came over to get me accompanied.
Mama went out.

Baby gave me false hope today !
He was supposed to get me breakfast & Lunch, but he was asleep .
And now, as im blogging, he is still in his dream land . -.-'

By the time he gets up, i'll be in my solitude, enjoying my beauty sleep.
I am still not in the pink of health and yea, i wun be going over to Malaysia this weekend since im feeling lethargic & unwell. Akai, he is busy with work. PERIOD.

Read atika's blog, and yea atika, your dream was indeed interesting. Haha ! In her dreams, I meninggal during ngaji . -.-'
Hilarious, tho'.

Afterwhich, i spent hours viewing and acceptin requests from tagged .
Oh yes, dear mates, i've deferred my course, and will resume school in a few months time,
I have my reasons, and i believe you would understand if you're a regular reader of my blogg .
I do miss all of your nonsense .

Here, I end my post .

Have an enjoyable weekends,

Much love,
Bella

2009-03-28T02:49:00.003+08:00

Wasnt in the pink of health and there's no single food at home .
Mama went out and im too sick to get out from my solitude .
Holla baby up and get him to buy me food.
Lucky, he was around .

Met eve and max earlier on , have a few convos, then head off to the coffeeshop, somewhere not far away from home .
I forgot to consume my pills and i am feeling dizzy, just like a bee being sprayed or splat upon .
Didn't stay out late like the way i used to few days ago .

Headed home, called eve and now, im back to my solitude.
As im blogging, I could actually feel a gush of emotions with an additional pain surrounding my face and a heavy head.
Feels like a sack of rice being put up upon my head . -.-'

To add on , my legs are numb , that i could hardly feel them .

Gosh, I really hate this feeling , but i should just smile and have patience.
Perhaps, i'll get better soon .

Goodnight

2009-03-28T02:39:00.002+08:00

Im seriously sick and tired of people RUNNING AWAY FROM ME WHEN THEY CAN'T PAY UP!
Names not to be mentioned, but i am sure, these people are common people who reads up all my daily updates .
Am I not kind and generous enough to understand your situation and give u a helping hand?

Right, its been years, and i really hate it when people promised me to pay up on a certain date, and then, run in the midst of nowhere.

I have no idea, what you've been up to? Perhaps, its you and your lies?
Whenever i call this person up, this person will not answer and in less than a minute, off the bloody phone?

Cant you just answer my call and at least explain to me the reason why, im kind enough to understand.

Urgh, people keeps on making use of me, everytime .
Nevertheless, crack up a certain act or cry to get my sympathy.
Those who know me tends to know, how soft hearted i tend to B.
I hardly put myself first.

The fact that im raged is not because of the amount of money loaned, But the attitude, SUCKS BIG TYME !

FUCK RIGHT?

I SWEAR I WILL NEVER LOAN TO DISHONEST FRIENDS.
OH, IS THAT PERSON EVEN WORTH CALLING A FRIEND?

2009-03-25T10:05:00.002+08:00

Baaahh ! Its 10 in the morning . Went to get some medications and hell, i can't go baq to sleep.

Like, wtf -.-'

& I've went missing for now. sorry dear friends, ive been busy. Ohyea, daddy couldn't get a flight back here in Singapore, Oh daddy daddy please?

I miss my dad soooo much ! And i realised, i am missing my mum, too.

We are staying under one roof, but we havent been seeing each other much.

So here is a random post .

Im afraid, one day, i might wake up, realising that the one who haf always been with me, doesnt love me. Im afraid, i might lose that love .

I am blogging in such a manner because i came across sucha situation.

A friend of mine confessed to his girlfriend that he doesn't love her after years being with her and now, he is trying his best to love her.

Omg , guys, dun ever ditch your gf okay?

I am glad, my mr akai sayang me alot ! kan b?

2009-03-24T23:03:00.002+08:00

Went out with bestie, rabia, yesterday .

Gawsh , I miss that bytch of mine .

Its been awhile since we last met .

Afterwhich, accompanied bby to BBDC .

Finally, he gonna get hys license after it has been revoke .

Met bby for abt an hour early this evening .

I couldn't stay much longer since im seriously weak .

I havent been well .

and i guess, hormonal imbalance struck me again .

Gosh, i hope the results turn out positive .

2009-03-21T00:30:00.005+08:00

Thanks to my beloved cousin, aysha, i have to complete the nonsense. lol! and here is the sungguh taq perlu survey, happy shaaa? lol. lurf you still, no worries!

1: Besides your lips, where is your favorite spot to get kissed?

♥ My forehead, and cheeks especially. =)

2: How do you feel when you woke up this morning?

♥ Sluggish & weak, (ive got flu and asthma =.=)

3: Who was the last person you took a photo with?

♥ who else, if its not my akai? lol

4: Would you consider yourself to be spoiled?

♥ assuming from my blog link, yes! DUH, what do you expect from the youngest daughter? lol

5: Would you ever donate blood?

♥ erm . i shall consider, if it happens. yes, i guess.

6: Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex?

♥ Obviously yes .

7: Do you want someone dead?

♥ YES !

8: What does your last text message say?

♥ besok aqu taq free larh kay? baleq malaysia.

9: What are you thinking of right now?

♥ what's gonna happen next .

10: Do you wish someone was with you right now?

♥ YESYESYES!

11: What time did you go to sleep last night?

♥ 2 AM

12: Where did you buy the T-shirt you are wearing now?

♥ Giordano

13: Is someone on your mind right now?

♥ yes

14: Who was the last person to text you?

♥ eve

TAGGED 10 PEOPLE!

My vips would be ;

1. Rabia

2.Eve

3.Erin

4.Dolly

5.DiydeeJane

6.Shaaa

7.Nisa

8.Franira

9.Allen

10.Titibelle

2009-03-20T23:24:00.014+08:00

ALERT ;

Pictures below are the ones i am willing to upload. too many photos okay? lol.

and sorry for the bad image quality and the masainess of the bellakai.

love it. hate it. keep it at your own discreet.

its my life, my choice.

and its up to me to choose the way i roll.

Take care!

2009-03-20T23:15:00.002+08:00

Stucked at home the whole day. It was raining cats and dogs here in woodlands.

I was down with asthma early this morning. Sorry e'qa, I couldnt make it =.=

And to my dearest akai, im sorry, i lied. Takut bby marah lar. But its okay, from now on, i dare vow, BERANI BUAT BERANI TANGGUNG. Sumpah taq tipu akai lagyy. Pinky promise.

Am currently chatting with diy baby after sometime of talking. eh? lol.

My bby boy is at home, sleeeping. im still waiting for hym to get up . and yes, i'll be going to Malaysia again, tomorrow.

Watched 'RACE TO WITCH MOUNTAIN' last 3 days. Overall rating was ; 4/5.

I swear, both me and akai regret watching 'watchmen'. Mundane.

Catching some online movie while waiting for my mr akai to call.

and yes, my hp mcm cb!

2009-03-18T06:06:00.003+08:00

Picture taken last night.

Okay, again, im missing my long hair.
Unfortunately, MR AKAI, won't allow me to have my extensions on.
Reason being ; he rather have me natural.

That reminds me of the quote i once had "LOVE ME FOR WHO I AM".
But bby, do u love me?

=)

I've been in a "lazy to update" mood. so, i shall update photos soon.

TC

2009-03-12T06:25:00.003+08:00

Its 6 30 am and I just got baq to my crib.
Well, happy enough to have spent tyme with my baby .
In the meanwhile, im feeling all down and confused.
I have nothing much to elaborate here, since its personal.

All I need is some answers. Time after time, ive been confused by my own conscience and intuitions and now, i've finally learnt the truth.
Its true enough, the truth hurts.

I'd rather have the truth than living my life with doubts.
Now that it breaks me apart, i need space .
I've yet to move on with my life and pretend its not hurting me .

How the world seems cruel and harsh on me.

I need guidance from you, allah .

and im quitting my job .

2009-03-10T23:34:00.002+08:00

I am finally back in singapore after spending over the weekends back in Malaysia.
And I will be quitting my job pretty soon .
Okay, i know my blog have been effin empty and dull.
Only for the tyme being , I promise.
And, pictures will be uploaded by tis week .

My tagboard will be up sooon, since some ppl still tend to be CHILDISH.
Hahahs.

So, this is my life, just enjoy watching it while I enjoy living it.
Sayonara BITCHES.

2009-03-04T02:59:00.002+08:00

I've been reflecting on a lot of things today.
Perhaps, mostly on my attitude.
I do agree, the fact that, when i fall in love, i fall hard, does play a big role in my lyfe.
I am happy to have found my other half.
Sometimes, i do wonder, why I tend to get over-emotional whenever he tends to crack a joke with me .

Well, the term , other girls, makes me feel small whenever im around any other gorgeous ladies.
Im inferior to this kinda things.
and sometimes, i feel challenged.
as if, im not a good gf, ever.

Okay, he has been nyce, really really nyce.
as what ive always told my friends.
He is my bestfren, my enemy, my sugar, my honey, my poison, my vampire, my savior.
In short, he is my MR EVERYTHING.

With hym, there is nothing i can deny.
And with hym , i feel secured.

Though at times, i may be a bitch, but i wun go the extend of contacting any other guys.
Takkan pernah. Coz to me, one is enough. Im not willing to risk it.

Memang uh, kawan je per.
But again, if u are too engrossed in LUST instead?
U tend to forget everything .
Lagy2 sometimes, ppl tend to say they are single when they are not.

Okay, some guys prefer to just play around but stick to one babe,
but again, havent those guys thought of the other party?
Why selfish? when evryone have feelings?

Get my point?
Okay, this is just a random post.

I better start tucking in now, my tummy is killing me .
"-"

2009-03-02T19:34:00.002+08:00

Again, its raining cats and dogs.

Eve and Max came crashing to my place.

Baby Akai, sent me to school today .(okay, we took the same train, he alights at CCK)

And im supposed, he is all cranky.

Reason being ; LACK OF SLEEP.

School was a-okay,

On average, was only 20% fun since I was feeling all sleepy and sluggish.

Now, im all dizzy, and i feel like vomitting .

grr~!

Akai's grandma haven't been in the pink of health lately.

Im praying for the best.

Get well soon, nenek!

Things at home is pretty rough for me.

Would'nt wanna elaborate much.

personal.

Guess, i gotta get going .

Happy weekdays, ppl!

Akai, bella cinta bgt sama kamu, cowok gwe yang ganteng.

2009-03-01T18:40:00.003+08:00

abg kau! ; Ey bang, taqya kepo. bnyk qau peh gd boy

bey asal kepo2 taq aleq rmh =.=/ . weak uh bro. hah

dolly ; haha. yes darla, fair enough . hahs. thanks. yea, i love the song, babe!

miss ya! SEE YA tmr.

rabia ; wey, niari qan qau dtg uma aqu! duh! aqu tawu, kamu kangen sama aqu qan?? haha

Farhana ; yes darla!! SUNGGUH AQU FAHAM! hehes. si minah mcm paham tu qan??? lol

anw, will do soon love! mane qau ilang??

Rain rain, go away, come again another day.

pretty pretty please!!

Its raining cats and dogs and the temperature adds on to this pipe bocor of mine, which is my bad bad flu!

Plans to Malaysia was cancelled.

So, it should be later this week i assume, baby?

Im simply in love with akai, over and over again.

Went aljuneid to have some durians.

Its been ages since i last had durian.

Yummylicious, especially on a rainy night.

And and, trust me , its been a week since akai and i have been craving for rojak!

and its already 3 days now since we had rojak for either lunch/dinner.

Afterwhich, cabbed down to woodlands, and none of akai's frens was around,

so it was the two of us, bellakai.

Akai was doing those coin magic thingy on me.

And, seriously, he was simply adorable.

Baby left at about 3 30 am.

And today, he's playing his online poker game while im tv-ing.

lol.

Okay, im so gonna make a cup of hot milo and light up a stick,

afterwhich, holla baby up.

2009-02-27T00:14:00.003+08:00

Haters means no shit to me. Yes, i really min it. No shit.

Seriously.

Hate me / Love me, either way, they actually have thoughts of me and im flattered.

How sweet! =)

Ive been down with some serious headaches this few weeks and sometimes, its just unbearable.

I tend to realise all the reasons to my failure in lyfe.

Perhaps, i wasnt a good girl back then.

But who cares? It was just plain history.

Now, im all grown up and I should have better knowledge on the "do's" and the "don'ts".

And im talking about everything.

To me , every single person is unique in each and every part of him/her.

Most ppl tend to underestimate the younger generation and also ppl who enjoy night life.

But again, havent this ppl heard that things doesnt always go your way?

Every individual have his/her own personality.

Okay, i know, im so random. But its just general, dun U think so?

Okay, Its finally my off day cum ka-ching day!

Ain't gonna indulge much okay.

Gonna get a new pink LG phone.

Akai also finds it nice.

As for today,

akai wanted to sent me to school , Unfortunately, hys baby girl isnt tat well.

And so, cabbed down to NUH and it was belardy 3 hours till we got it done and over with.

=.="

Afterwhich, went vivocity for awhile to catch some items.

Had cockles kway teow and carrot cake for lunch.

and also

Rojak plus cheese fries for dinner.

Got myself a pretty good rest, i tell you.

Ive been wanting to have a tyme on my own back here in my cozy crib.

Heavenly.

Baby got himself a tagged account and MSN as well.

Sometimes , i do have doubts.

But to think of it again, its unfair for hym since i have a couple of accounts.

PERIOD.

So, let me just put a full percentage of trust for now.

But its difficult, people.

I seriously have problems with trust issues!

=.=

Tyme to change bella!

Bellakai won't be in singapore till sunday.

so, have a good weekend ppl!

And to papa (akai's dad), happy birthday!

2009-02-25T03:34:00.002+08:00

To Kailontong ; Hey, thanks for tagging. Link me up. I'll link you soon enough. And yea, still remember me? Or was it just random? How have u been doing?

To Ayeesha : ey darlinq, nanti I link you kay? berry the berry berry sooon! see you in class!

Its 3 45 am and I just finished cleaning the whole house.
I've been doing the house chores for 3 straight days now.
Woo! Break record you know! lmao.

Didn't meet my precious one today since im working .
and baby woke up late, so, he stayed home all day long.
GOOD BOY! SAYANNNGGG AKAI! hehehs.

Samer larh kite, I didnt attend school today ; overslept.

Its just a random update, though.
Sorry if its short & simple.
Im like falling asleep half way already.

Better go to bed now.

Nights/Morning. ;)

2009-02-21T15:55:00.002+08:00

I am super lethargic, i tell you!

Having to juggle 2 jobs and school.

Yesterday night was a blast at work.

was working from 8pm-1am.

and, i admit, i was partially drunk.

Knowing that i wasnt stable at that point of time, dearest akai fetched and bought me supper.

Isnt he sweet at times? ;)

Okay, its 16;20 and i just got up from lala land.

Heading to work again tonight.

And baby is still asleep. haiz! hahs.

I seriously have nothing much to blog about now.

I hope you understand. for now, im going back to sleep for another 2 hours.

BIG PEMALAS, I knoe! hahs.

2009-02-19T19:27:00.002+08:00

I somehow miss my fucking long hair!

Should i indulge, having extensions again? pfft!

Oh and yes, yesterday was rough okay?

Had a tiff with my fucken babyboy.

Its irritating how u tend to find him flirting and PRETENDING to be single in your presence.

There i went, jealous.

I knoe, he suke test2, but please ar please please.. ader limits taw!

Lucky enough, he know where he stands and now, we are back again.

grr.

Didnt attend school or work today.

penat and alot of things been happening.

Headin to hospital soon.

Oh and it was such a coincidence to have another couple screen named 'bellakai'.

Mcm best gytu qan.? hehes.

Last long ayte TITIbelle and Kai?

Oh, i gotta run now.

chao!

2009-02-16T01:54:00.030+08:00

Below are both updates and pictures on Valentines'.

Oh, I know, its tyme for some serious updating! Lol

It was a rough start for both me and akai on valentines'.

He didn't want to go out since everyone borrowed his items, from top-shoes.

Baby wasnt in the best mood and yea, we almost BREAK UP!

Rabaq rite? Haha, hell no, we pulled through.

Indeed patience is a virtue.

Headed town with baby dolly, saw a few bunch of my sweethearts, and im happy to see you, babies.

Afterwhich, go makan and dolly decided to have a drink. yea, drink!

Called akai up, told hym our plans and yea, both dolly and I headed to woodlands.

Met akai and his boys. Okay, I was surprised, dollybaby felt comfortable with us.

Well, they helped dolly and we bitched and crapped the whole night.

At least, babygirl was happy on valentines'.

I made her day! like wow! dolly, u made mine too.

Had Vodka, some ice.

And yea, baron eh? lol.

Dolly was a lil tipsy and i was still Okay, so my duty was simple, take a very good care of my bytch.

Afterwhich, headed back to my place at abt 5 am.

Dolly slept over and yea, it was a bomblastfun! for me, akai and everyone.

Akai has his surprises and Im not telling till its the right tyme.

dolly, kiter ader plan laen qan nnt dgn dorang?

Haha, well, me and akai have plans to make her feel better.

so just wait up for the updates!

Cheers and much love from me to you ppl.

akai, biler nie naq gy overseas??? July lambat nah? hmpf! hah.

2009-02-16T01:36:00.004+08:00

Above are pictures I promised to upload during my trip to Sentosa.

So yeah!

2009-02-10T00:25:00.004+08:00

See, I told you readers, akai have got hymself a good girl.

Being the filial lady, I've finally removed my extensions.

And yea, im back with another new look!

Love it/Loathe it, diss it! I dun need your comments.

Oh, it was heaven i tell you.

Pampered myself by giving my scalp a good scrub and hair wash.

Went to Reds Salon, Bugis Junction with girlfies, Justina and Dolly.

Eat.Smoked.Bitched.Laughed.Shop.Slack.

Supposed to meet akai, but that lazy bumbum of myne refused to go work and got hymself 2 days Mc. So, hys spoilt princess chose to go shopping with her chicks. Unfortunately, he wun be seeing me both today and tomorrow, sorry sugar!

Partially, im worried for tomorrow.

Lets not talk about it.

Yesterday, met my happy pills, rabia, shaaa, shaz and allen.

We had a hell lots of fun !

and i was super hyper, thanks to my happy pills!

Took man's bike and rabia gave me a ride around woodlands.

Steady la rabia, da de motor, jgn lupe qiter noh!

As for me, i'll be taking my driving license with my one and only ,

SHEIKHMUHAMMADZAKARIA aka Akai. (pink and red, bella and akai! haha)

And yea, im mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted.

so please, i need a break!

Akai, take me somewhere higher.

I LOVE YOU!

2009-02-09T00:05:00.010+08:00

above pictures are taken with my most precious, LUTH 'IZZ QAISY.

And yeah, thats hys SULK face everytime he merajoq with me.

Yesterday was a bomb!

Met baby early in the morning, spent some quality tyme with hym.

Afterwhich, continued with my beauty sleep, woke up 11.30 am and cabbed down to Yishun Safra.

My cousin, Qistina Qur'ratu 'Ain Binte Shareyzan had her pool partaeeee!

Happy 10th birthday!

Cousin wawan brought gf along while my baby akai had feverrr!

Had NZ stirloin steak, it was yummilicious, beybeh!

My baby, Luth 'Izz Qaisy was makin a fuss.

"Mama, why neve spent time w me animore? papa where?"

And i havta answer hym.

" Sayang, mama school, papa sleeping, papa sick kay? next week mama papa bring you shopping kay?"

He complied with a hugg.

Afterwhich, qaisy went for hys blashy splashy swim fun!

I took the opportunity to leave as soon as Qaisy felt asleep in my arms.

He wouldnt let me leave, i tell you.

I wun wanna see hym cry and stomp hys baby feet!

Met daddy for awhile in Raffles and took my perfume.

Afterwhich ;

Met mama, uncle spyder, QaQ Darling, Julz, Milo, raye, iman and dania over at sentosa, pahlawan beach.

Okay, i made up to iman since i missed her birthday the other tyme.

They went bintan, and i had work.

Had lotsa fun camwhoring, bitching, talking bout my engagement and mama's ehem2.. haha.

Had luge, watch songs of the sea and lots more.

Pictures are taken by my sister with her digi-camera.

And so, ive to wait for her to get online and msn me all those crazaeee pictures.

I will DEFINITELY upload those, okay?

Oh yes, Its been awhile since i spent some quality time with mum.

I miss her much okay, though we are stayin under one roof! hahs.

Saturday, be out with Akai. its VALENTINES, february, the month of LOVE.

He better not disappoint me or kick his ass, i shall!
haha.

Love ya !

2009-02-07T00:55:00.004+08:00

Nothing much really happened today.

Woke up early, went melawat sekejap, afterwhich passed akai hys money.

And he headed to work.

I miss that sweetheart of mine supermuch and he knoes tat.

He told me to save the days for valentines. Okay la, sweet qan sayang aqu yang sorang ni? But, wth? hahs.

and that ficklebickle minded babyboy of mine wants me to have my hair short again! Dier eh suker sangat aqu tukar2 image.. aduiiii! pening ah.. pening sekallii! hehes. nanti larh kay, after v day. PROMISE!

Webcam-ed with shasha and yea, nothing much since shaa is super lazae to talk! duhh!

Met rabia at her void deck , as usual, smoked. talked. bitched. laughed. and everything.

If its bella and rabia, nothing is impossible and impossible is nothing! qan sayangs?

We realised tat its been ages since we last stepped out of woodlands together.

Haha. akai nyer pasal eh, rabia? hehe.

We talked on how we used to roll and how i could last with akai.

Its my first time okay? duh! and, yea, akai special la.. okay, akai darlinq, if you're reading this, taqya sengeh2 kay? ITS THE FACT! hahs.

Baby went for soccer and met my madu, AN! haha.

While i met hys madu, RABIA.

Okay pe? lol.

Now, ive got nothing else to share.

BUT I CANT WAIT FOR VALENTINES.

AKAI, YOU PROMISED ME A PERFUME AND SURPRISES qan??

I cant wait okay, love!

2009-02-06T15:27:00.008+08:00

Been lazy to update, recently. Haha!

Okay, Ive got work from MONDAY-THURSDAY.

Saturday and Sunday, I won't be in woodlands.

So yea, wun be seeing both BELLAKAI in woodlands or worst, polyclinics!

Haha.

Above are pictures of me and dolly having our webcam sessions. so geyreq qan?

Okay, max and eve came over and yea, been webcaming the whole day!

Oh, yea, with fifi and also Zura.

Kecoh la qan? Zura, suarer mau kuat kay darlin? haha.

I swear, i could barely hear her voice, waduhhh!

Wasnt in the best mood.

Last afternoon.

Ju ; Hello. Bella, qau qatner?

Bella ; woodlands arh, apesal?

Ju ; akai ade ngan qau? taq qlua dgan akai?

Bella ; (takes a deeeep breath) Ju...

Ju ; ape?

Bella ; (tone of voice changed ; irritated) Asal uh qau slalu qol2 aqu tanyer pasal akai uh?

Ju ; ermm. taq, aqu qol2 dier taq dpt.

Bella ; qau naq qol2 dier ader ape?? IRRITATING QAU TAWU TAQ!

Ju ; (stammers) aqu actually cariq an.

Bella ; EY, PANDAI2 QAU ARH!

Seriously, she have reached my fucking limits and i can no longer take it .

She even have the heart to tell me .

"AKAI MAKI2 QAU PASAL DIER CKP QAU MMG PATUT QENER MAQI PASAL QAU TAQ BERGUNA AND SLALU LAMBAT"

Unfortunately, akai raged upon hearing what i told hym. see, its fable! sentence above sungguh merepeq!

Whatever la, ive heard about you. Perhaps, my bad for not trusting and now, i've experience what they have been experiencing, your friends have been complaining, you lil baby hoe.

Okay, meanwhile, im talking to baby over the phone.

Akai, niari full of complains eh?

waduh. he has always been cranky if he sleeps too much or lack of sleep.

HE HAVE BEEN SLEEPING THE WHOLE DAY AT HOME YTD! guys~!

And abang eddie, i knoe how u feel. I feel your sorrows as well.

Mohamed farhan, rest in peace.

Haiz, memories, we shall keep.

'SIAL UH QAU DAR TUNANG, AQU YG HANDSOME2 QAU TANAQ QER.? EDDIE, PSYCHO LA ADEQ QAU'.

His everyday same dialogue when he sees me.

as i say, my life is similar to dominoes, all at once.

and YOU! u must be laughing and clapping to see me fall.

But hey, im still strong.

Its bella, bitch!

Its bella, bitch!(to sesiape yang makan lollipop, terase la sweetnyer~(taqmu copy nie lyne eh. pleeease uh please! haha).

Yesterday, i wasnt really drunk, partially la kay.

had Bacardi, thanks to max and eve.

Yesterday was hilarious.

And yea, bella fanatic japp pasal marar with tat slut.

Move bitch, get out the way.

2009-02-04T22:57:00.002+08:00

I havent been in the mood lately.

Things happened and I just couldnt put myself together.

SchooL? Perhaps, most of you won't be seeing me anymore.

Yes, im still on my education path. not to worry.

And life? Life is as hell.

I am not certain on how my future will be.

Perhaps, what both Eve and max said was true.

I dun have much confidence in me.

Love? We have plans tis upcoming valentines.

and yea, I still have trust issues.

I min it I LOVE AKAI.

I am out of words. I am confused.

How am i to tell hym she's out for some show.

She potrays that innocent attitude.

Telling me things I wish I didn't know.

Im positive, its all fable.

Im just potraying a facade smile, honey.

Listening to my voice, you told me I sounded different.

Yes, time will tell you everything.

Cos as always, the truth outshines the lies. Qan akai?

Beribu kali bella ucapqan, kejujuran itu sangat penting antara kita.

Bella yakin akai pasti ngerti apa yang pingin bella sampaikan.

Aku kagen banget sama kamu.

Aku tawu kau juga kangen padaku.

Ya, emangnya, kita udah saling cinta mencintai.

The sight of her is just killing me.

THE END.

2009-01-31T20:11:00.002+08:00

Okay , i suddenly miss my long black hair.

This picture was taken back in 2007, that was lyke 2 years ago, can?

So, should i bring sexxy black, again?

Okay, today was a roughtough plus yippeehippiehappy day for me!

Have a lil convo with missie lawyer.

Apparently, only a few special ppl have been told about the case.

Met dearest daddy since he's back in Singapore already.

Okay, daddy, better show yourself up since someone confirmed your name to be indian.

I agree on the Biswas though. but what about the Antonio Agresias?

Haha.

Afterwhich, met dearest akai, went to Bugis and town to catch some ideas for valentine's.

Oh and some preparations for the month of February qan sayanggg? hehe.

See larh, you have the ability to make me smile, laugh, cry and angry all at once.

ahha.

Baby was listening to "Baby, don't go".

And he keeps on phrasing the same thing to me.

"IM BETTER THAN YOUR EX, BETTER THAN YOUR NEXT".

He then adds on, "I love this song, bella. macam kener gytu. and i'll always be your next ok?".

Haha.

And i emphasized this part from the verse to him,

" We break up to make up".

Hahaha.

Macam paham larh kiter.

Okay, he was like bella bilang daddy 'I LOVE YOU'.

and i was smiling when daddy complied,

' I LOVE MY SON IN LAW TOO.'

Macam taq sangker2 okay.

Okay, for now, im still thinking what trust is all about.

Be it friends or in a relationship.

In the meantime, im having trust issues.

I dun understand why people keep on talking, knowing, i treasure all my friends.

But again, do they even realize i cared?

Like, hey.. I have nothing against my circle of friends i swear.

Im known to be a straight forward person.

My upbringing have taught me how to forgive and learn from my mistakes.

Again and again, i potray a smile so sweet yet facade.

I may seem happy and jovial, but inside, only god knoes how sensitive i tend to be.

Yes, ive grown a lot after a bad past.

But now, ppl still think im as cruel huh?

The whole of my life, ive been putting others ahead me.

And now, should i still stay the same? If yes, then who would consider my feelings?

God, all I need is some serious guidance and answers.

Akai, mama, mama akai, daddy, eve, max, dolly and e'qa, thanks a lot for hearing my pleas.

Im not out for some sympathetic shit.

Perhaps now, silence is the best answer, right?

Am i a bitch because i speak my mind?

Am i a bitch because I wun let anyone push me around?

Well, if being true to myself, makes me a bitch,

then, i'll accept it rather than me faking to be a person im not.

I'd rather be myself and compromise what I believe in.

Have a nice day, everyone.

2009-01-30T16:30:00.003+08:00

Okay , went to Atika's blog. it was interesting to have read about personalities.

I was amazed on how accurate it was.

Now, here's the results after i took the test ;

Name: bella

Date: 1/30/2009

Colorgenics Number: 53764120

You want to be regarded as an exiting and interesting personality able to persuade others to comply with your beliefs and ideas. You are charming and able to influence other people who come into your sphere of influence. You like mental stimulation and you are the sort of person who is prepared to 'try anything once'.

Your confidence is so much so that others are often swept away by your enthusiasm.
You haven't been feeling that great lately.

Both physically and mentally you are exhausted. To your best friends, those who know you and love you, it shows. Your self esteem has been reduced almost to a minimum and in order to recover - and recover you will - it is necessary that you get away from it all, even if it be only for a few days.

You know what you want and you are very dogmatic and demanding - especially in your emotional demands. You have specific ideas and beliefs and if these beliefs are not realised you can become extremely frustrated. You may not be that perfect but you are looking for perfection with the perfect partner.

Your ability to withstand the pressures of everyday life have been overtaxed and this is leading to stress and frustrations. It would seem that for the time being you have lost the resilience and strength of will necessary to contend with existing difficulties. You feel that it is all 'too much' and, try as you may, you are getting nowhere.

But to give you credit, you continue to stand your ground and pursue your objectives with a fierce intensity. Naturally this situation is subjecting you to intolerable stress and pressure from which you would dearly like to escape, but you can not bring yourself to make the necessary decision.

As a result you remain firmly involved in the problem and you can neither view it objectively nor get rid of it - you cannot leave it alone and you feel that you will only be at peace when you have reached your objective.
You are putting on a show - a facade. You are a master of demonstrating considerable charm in the hope that this can or will lead to better things. Deep down you are fearful that this may not work and that you may have to employ other strategies in order to realise all your ambitions.

WEBSITE IS ; http://www.goldinuniverse.com

2009-01-28T21:55:00.026+08:00

Accompanied baby to woodlands polyclinic.

I know, its like our hotspot! haha.

Okay, credits to bro in law for sending us overr.

It was a hell of tyme waking akai up!

Suspect kuat, ade tsunami pun taq sadar!

Grr, afterwhich, go makan.

Today, akai very the giler2 can?

He was like singing to me all the songs from my mp3.

TEBIAT SANGAT2. haha.

Hung out for a while, and he sent me home.

very early.

asyek naq aqu baleqq siang jer. ape ceriter pun taq tawu la.

and now, taq angqat call lagy! geramm okeh? pfft . guys guys and guys.

as always la qan .

Be meeting hym again tomorrow after work, around 6 30 pm , i guess.

akai sayang, ader larh insan yang teramat rapat dgan bella kater, akai taq pernar exist.

waduh. sedih ya ? haha. amcm kaikai? mau pump pe? hehehes.

Pictures below, are pictures of me, my mum and cousins from indonesia (madura).

My paman (uncle) was telling me how amazed he was to see me after some time ,

ye la, ape ke taq, im all grown up.

Paman , tolong hadir di singapura pada tarikh majlis pertunangan bella di Februari yah ?

My cousin, jaka, is having his interview tomorrow.

Wah, kagum banget nih ? kerja kapal yah ? bella ngak sangka2 sih jaka punya degree.

oh to that someone, darh puas hati MY MUM IS INDONESIAN.

and pictures of my dad and my cousins from dad's side to be uploaded soon , since someone thinks my IC is fake. haha, nie singapore sayangg, bukan negeri sembarang2 okay?

kau nie taq sangka aqu, BIGFUCKING hypocrite ehs?

byk yang qau da bebual.

umur qeciq, caqap matured, EE, mcm paham siaq qau! lagy ader hati naq doa aqu fail econs?

siol uh, happy arh qau, aqu fail..

syabas! u run the show, babe!

2009-01-28T03:14:00.012+08:00

I am missing two of my most important friends. MAX AND EVE.

Okay, ive been busy mugging and work at the same time.

and so, its the first day of work today.

I havta totally run the show.

I got my table numbers all mixed up. very confusing, can?

Fret not, I'll shine . haha.

Khai was flirting with me. Like wth! haha. he was super hilarious la .

I min, not akai okay. Its my bartender .

Made lotsa new friends.

Credits to Kat for training me.

I swear, Im in loveee with Strongbow. Its a frizzy sweet beer .

Apple taste!

On the floor was Khai, rudy, sonnie, Kat, Mona and Timmy ( the manager ).

Happy hour ends at 9pm. and, seriously, not much crowd la but i swear, i was nervous can?

First F&B as my career taw! lol .

Akai was pissed . He gave me 23 missed calls and a message .

"Oik pantat! darh mampos pe?? Kol braper banyak kali taq angkat......!"

Haha.

Sorry, didnt inform you i got work lor.

and yea, he was like.

Akai ; Bella taq bilang pon bella qerjer?

Bella ; akai tdo per. macamner naq bilang ?

Akai ; At least message Akai kay? AT LEAST..

Bella ; yela pape.

See, he tends to show me hys attitude. But as soon as I show myne, he'll be worried.

Met dearest akai after work,

he told me to accompany hym go tke mc again tomorrow, afterwhich, go watch movie.

Sorry for the cold shoulder sayang. I havta do it. The answers is in your hands. so, you decide.

I love you much baby.

Akai ; Asal bella darh lain? asal action dgan akai?

Bella ; pikir sebelum bebual la akai.. Siape yang action dulu? Bella or akai?

Akai ; (silence for a minute) ye la, akai yang salah kay.. sorry.

Haiz, i wished, i wished he'll change for the better. Not saying im perfect, but i shall change too!

Baby, sorry la kay semalam my dress was too short!

Its for chinese new year la!

duh!

Okay, i better get back to sleep now.

Got some plans and meeting baby tomorrow.

EVE AND MAX! I SHALL CALL YOU TOMORROW.

goodnite sweethearts!

2009-01-27T02:15:00.005+08:00

Okay , for chinese new year, ive got myself a new haircut.

Im bringing sexxy black! yeah! haha.

nah, i just got myself bangs. again!

I miss having bangs douh .

Dolly came over last nyte for some bitching sessions. oh, we did study too qan dolls?

hehehe.

afterwhich, met dearest at woodlands. Him having hys PMS.

Hahah.

As for today, got over grandma's condo to celebrate chinese new year.

dapat ang pao taw! hehes.

afterwhich, met brother in law since he wanted to burn songs for hys van.
and eqa came over with dearest naima.

Naima was afraid of akai because AKAI DARH BOTAQ LA! haha.

Im super worried for friday, akai have hys court case. lets just pray hys probation will be extended.
Favour la, next month da officially tunang okay . and we aldy invite ppl sehy.
grr !

Im currently on the phone with e'qa and texting my dearest akai.

Multi-task eh bella!

Much much love.

GONG XI FA CAI .

ps ; pictures for cny to be updated soooon once grandma sent it over to me.

2009-01-25T13:57:00.002+08:00

Pictures taken some time back .
Okay, baby dolly will be coming over for some revisions and bitchings.
Rofl!
Was on e fone w dolly for hours last nite .
Mama havent been home since last morning,
just where on earth my mum merayaps? haha.

As for akai, he finally called 11.30pm.

Akai ; bella patne?
Bella ; Rumah uh .
Akai ; k2 bye bye .
Bella ; ape caqap? qol ader aper?
Akai ; taqder aqu naq dgar suare qau .

He sounded really pissed. perhaps it was the way i message.

"Bella tawu larh akai tanaq bebual dgan bella. bella pun taq tawu akai patne sekarang nie.
akai dar macam lain uh. cumer satu jer bella harap, akai taq curang pat bella macam dulu kay? goodnite."

He gave me a call upon receiving the sms .
Okay, whatever.
Aniway, that bitch lepak with hym again ytd! irritating arh .
and i knoe he is still asleep for now.
Should i give hym a call later ? haha, we shall see, baby.

2009-01-24T22:40:00.002+08:00

and now he is like avoiding my calls.

what the fucking hell he is up to, im not sure.

He just pick up from 830 pm, saying he is in the toilet.

merepeq ryte.

im so not gonna call hym!

pape uh, if he rely curang, allah will definitely guide me through,

amin.

2009-01-24T18:27:00.002+08:00

Its a mundane saturday and yes, its a day home for me.

Busy memorising those notes from school and work. grr!

Mama went out with Qaq darling leaving me alone at home.

And akai's prepaid is effin low that i cant call hym.

Marvellous qan? It was just 5 hrs ago when he can receive free incoming, afterwhich, the mobile operator goes " THE M1 CUSTOMER YOU'RE CALLING IS NOT RESPONDING"

he then gave me a message, saying his credits are low.

Message siaper ajer taw! pfft!

Okay, was on the phone w eve and we were talking about almost everything la qan.

GUYS ATTITUDE, sucks big tyme!

Was utterly busy with some of my school's things to do yesterday.

Afterwhich, accompanied baby to clinic again.

and then, headed to woodlands.

Hung out with hym for a while and bumped into FRANIRA AND WANIE.

It was fun catching up though'.

As we were engrossed in our convos, we bumped into E'QA, her daughter and DAYAH.

We laughed a lot, talking about how the seniors used to have conflicts with me.

and wanie was telling me that i have a 'stuck-up' face if i dun wear a smile on my face.

Geeez! qesiannye aqu! grr. haha.

Akai was busy playing with naima and talking to hys boys.

and i was pissed at that very moment knowing two girls sms-ed hym.

Shasha and Anissa.

Pathetic la, in the inbox, anissa was asking akai.

'' U, jadi tak? senyap aje?"

And shasha was like ;

"Hehe, i tgh tunggu u bobokkan i ni.heheh".

Tell me, which gf or fiancee or wife could accept such a msg?

siaq uh.

It breaks my heart actually.

Akai told me, he wanted to meet "SANTOS" and i couldnt tag along.

I fucking know that its probably ANISSA since she msgd hym for confirmation.

Oh btw, anissa knoes he's attached.

so? what a slut qan?

I didnt bring the matter up to akai.

Keep myself shut. besides, i cant force hym right?

Lets just wait and see.

Im having lots of tolerance now, boy.

It keeps me ponder every now and then, why the world seems to be unfair?

Guys tend to creep behind their ladies knowing that she's faithful.

and ladies tends to fling knowing that she has a great guy.

It hurts to share, though the other party might claim, they are mere friends.

Now, put yourself in the shoes of the innocent. How would you feel?

Cheated.

Now, i seriously have trust issues.

He surely knoes, i dun trust hym that much.

But baby, the choice is yours.

call me once you gt the chance, i shall bite my lips and let you confess, your own.

Cos everytime you get agitated, u'll spill everything out to me.

i love you.

2009-01-23T03:55:00.007+08:00

Pictures taken with beloved akai last night.

Akai sent me to school yesterday, he woke me up at 5 and yea, took the train.

It was all packed in Jurong. The crowd was 'fabulous'. grr!

Okay, today, Ive got training for work and den off to q'twn.

Afterwards, met akai in woodlands and headed for lunch.

Both had Fried kway teow with cockles. yummy!

hehes.

Hang out with my beloved. afterwhich met an, who was busy on the phone with teeqa.

Yana joined us for a chat. Ok, yana's getting prettier ! lol.

Two minah YP then lepakd with an, irritating la.

like the whole woodlands hate them can?

Umur still budaq, den very the kerek.

urgh! mentelism.

pretty? as what akai say, pecah, ley jady hostess mumbai! haha. taq racist eh. just a comment.

haha.

and, yea, she remind me of SHITdah. lol.

Tapy, shida lagy cerah u knoe.

Whtevr, oh, rupe2 nye, qawan qorang si sya2 yang qenal2 nan akai?

Lol. akai cakap dier irritating siol. haha.

sorry la, no matter what, akai stakat buat boring2 u knoe, especially when he mangkok with me. duh!

tu pun taq jumpe kan? haha. kesian la krg kene bodoh2qan.

Waduh. lelaki taq pandang perempuan fanatic oke?

Lol.

Akai, see you tomorrow. bella udah capek deh. cinta banget sama kamu!

2009-01-23T03:25:00.009+08:00

Above are pictures I did not bother to upload this week.

Im seriously busy and lethargic okey. I might not be in school but ive been mugging,

Like seriously, Im fucked up with some people who refuse to email me the SMILE VIDEO.

For those who have not, please do email me by monday.

ZETTYBELLAJAMES@HOTMAIL.COM.

Thank you!

I need to upload those in Mr saul's class blogg.

And im feeling all stressed up now.

Its been hectic since ive started working already.

Juggling school, family, work, and my other half - no worries, im coping pretty well.

Urgh, be studying ECONS with dolly soon enough .

And yes, Jailani's group project was a last min thingy since I forgot to bring my belardy (bloody i min) laptop! so, it was about drugs and media.

It was a quick 15 min thing i did in class.

Dolly, SEE, TETAP BOLEY SETTLE PUNYERH.

haha, in the end, we got 36/70. okay la qan?

Jailani was having his PMS. Irritatinq la qan !

Marar and sarcastic. geraaam i. geraaamm sekali!!

haha.

haiz, to end this post, here's a simple, GOODNITE.

2009-01-19T15:29:00.002+08:00

Im glad everything is over.

I headed to Sembawang park alone, last night.

I really need to think through the possibilities.

Little did I know, akai called me.

Akai ; bella, qatner?

Bella ; sembawang park, alone. why?

Akai ; asal sorang2? JUMPER AKAI PLEASE?

Bella ; jap lagy kay?

I made hym wait for about an hour.

Baby met me with a long face.

I tried asking hym why but to no avail.

He then told me he's all stressed up w his friends and some other stuffs.

As for that bytch, He explained to me how he didnt expect her to be around cos he wasnt informed.

He wanted to bring me along but with doubts.

He wanted me to stay home and not get drunk.

Walked around with dearest from woodlands to admiralty.

In the end, apit came and fetch us.

Went fishing. BUT I ENDED UP SLEEPING!

Okay, im glad he explained things.

Now, before he strts his male PMS, i better go siap.

dia udah menanti deh.

AS FOR MY TAGGERS, I'LL REPLY ONCE IM HOME.

MUCH LOVE.

2009-01-18T16:44:00.002+08:00

My baby got himself drunk for 3 nights already.

And, dammn! Its fucking hard to keep in track.

He only call me when he's sober.

And, i havent meet hym eversince.

I met hym last nite, only for 5 minutes. no goodbye kiss, no nothing.

Afterwhich, baby called.

Akai ; Bella, taq tdo?

Bella ; naq tdo lar nie. Bye sayang.

Akai ; Bye ajerr?

Bella ; Bye, Love you.

Akai ; Love you too.

Bella ; Miss you.

Akai ; Miss you EVEN MORE.

Bella ; muacks.

Akai ; muacks.

EVEN MORE? Is he for real?

And everytime I call, he'll be saying the same lame thing.

'BATTERY DARH NAQ FLAT'.

He didnt even call me today.

On the positive side, he might be sleeping.

I realized, its not my PMS.

I have no idea why I tend to be all emotional.

My conscience keeps telling me, something is wrong.

My heart tells me to be strong.

and apparently, there's this bytch who hangs out with us recently.

She constantly ask me if im with akai, whether or not i'll be meeting hym.

Like, hello? Kepo ehs?

She even followed baby and his frens to KTV.

mcm wtf?

Akai's friend told me, she is the mentel2 attention seeker.

He did mention that she prefer hanging out w guys.

tapi, taq perlu lar 24 jam qan?

oh yes, im being jealous.

siaper taq saqit hati saq?

Sialan la, she even tried her best to win my friendship.

alar, macam step gereq gytu? sungguh taq perlu eh budaq?

yes, she is still a budaq!

grr !

SAYANG, Its been two days and ive been complaining to you that im utterly bored.

Usually, you would prioritize me.

What happened now?

Setaqat caqap akai rindu bella je uat pe?

Buktiqan la.

Akai naq bella trust akai, tapy pade hakikatnye, ape yng telah akai buktikan?

Memang, bella taq menafiqan akai darh banyaq sacrifice.

Nothing much k darling.

We'll talk this over.

2009-01-17T16:04:00.002+08:00

I dunoe why. But I simply hate the picture above. lol.

I look effin different, can? grr!

Okay, Im supposed to be happy.

Baby called at 4.45 am, told me he just got back from Cavey's KTV.

He apologized cos he got drunk again.

Afterwhich, told him, I wanted to sleep for another hour since I got Effective study skills from 8.30am-11.30am today.

I ended up sleeping till 8.30am and slept again till 10 am.

Lol.

Called baby at 12. He told me I was being too sensitive last night.

He also mentioned that he wanted to rage but he understood the whole situation.

"Pasal sayangqan bella, every month akai kena sabar taw.. Tapy, qalau naq iqutqan hati, geram seyh! naseb baik, akai banyak sabar taw. cepat2 lar pms over, sayang."

Sweet right?

Oh yea, i actually took the initiative to take the medicines he bought for me.

1. Cough syrup (10 ml, 3 times a day)

2. Flu pills, its called CHLORPHENIRAMINE (1 tablet, 3 times a day)

3. Paracetamol for my headache (2 tablets, 4 times a day)

4. Lozenges called DEQUALINIUM ( 1 tablet, 3 times a day)

Akai wanted me to finish everything up since Im down with fever and flu.

Alhamdulillah, Im better. No more fever. Im left with a leaking nose! PIPE ROSAQ, beb! haha.

See, akai is all nyce to me, yet, I failed to be his guai lil princess!

Sorry kay?

Im done with the house chores for today.

Im off to amk, meeting my mother in law and yes, akai, too!

Peace out , everyone!

Dolly, U'll pass your APM!!

2009-01-16T23:27:00.003+08:00

My dearest sheikhmuhammadzakaria aka akai.

Im so sorry.

Okay, thanks to me and my foul mouth.

I headed for school last afternoon and akai was asleep since he was all drunk.

Afterwhich, met baby at Ang Mo Kio and had lunch at banquet.

He had fried cockles kway teow and I had black carrot cake.

I wasnt in the best mood since last night.

Thanks to my PMS!

I tend to get over emotional and hence leave ppl questioning why and ponder upon my actions.

Mama wasnt home and I left the key at home.

Ive told akai that I wanted hym to accompany me till mama got home.

Little did I know, he told me to go back home leaving me all alone knowing Im down with a high fever.

I raged and left hym.

He called.

Akai ; bella, asal??

Bella ; taq pape uh. akai naq gy dgn kwn akai pe. pegy uh.

Akai ; bella patne? dgn siape?

Bella ; dpan wdl north uh. taqya uh.

Akai ; bella tgu situ, jap lagy akai patah aleq.

Bella ; taqyar uh. akai tanaq bella pe!

Akai ; ey pompan, qalao aqu tanaq qau, aqu taqqan hari2 dgn qau la!

What he said made me realize I was being irrational.

Im all pieces now.

I should have treasured hym.

Thinking of those days he accompanied me till 5 in the morning because I missed the last train to woodlands.

The money we shared when I was broke.

The sacrifice he made just to cheer me up.

I simply love akai a lot.

Lets hope tomorrow things will get better.

I can't talk to him right now since his battery is running low.

Ive lost him once, I can never lose hym again. YES, NEVER AGAIN.

Especially now, when things are better.

Sayang, trust me, this pms will be over soon!

I love you.

Im being too selfish.

And yes, its my turn to understand you this time round.

Please forgive me.

Remember what you told me last nite when u were drunk?

Akai ; Bella, akai kecewe dgan bella

Bella ; asal?

Akai ; pasal bella taq layan akai seperti dulu.

Akai, i was just upset yesterday.

You know why.

And lets hope for a better tomorrow, k sayang?

2009-01-13T23:33:00.015+08:00

yoshinoya.
shasha and bella

allen and shasha

insanity of both BELLAKAI

Akai and his so matrep face!

Akai and his muker taq perlu! lol

enjoying my waffle fries. thanks allen!

I LOVE YOU!

Akai, kening maintain! lol

a sip of my own.

darn! i look so BULAT, can? haha

Akai's peace! grr!

Im supposed to be in school today.

I did not attend class due to some reasons and yea, its a valid reason, ok!

I was forced to go school by my MR.AKAI.

Went over to causeway point and met my long lost darlings, allen feat shasha!

Had a fun tyme with them.

And yea allen, credits to me rite for 6 qns? haha.

Shasha, please do take care of yourself and please, dun lose your money AGAIN!

Afterwhich, dearest called and met hym at marsiling since he wanted to buy his ciggs.

and thanks for buying me a packet sayang! love you much2! muuuuaaax! hehe.

Im darned broke, baby be giving me 5 dlrs tomorrow, i guess? hehe. sedeh siaks!

Went over to woodlands and discussed some stuffs with baby since MAMA AND DADDY keeps on saying " we are okay with it, you havta ask akai".

So now, i havta like seek his permission for everything.

And I cant work in cavey's newly opened KTV since akai wouldnt allow me.

I am going for another interview tomorrow after 3 before 6.

God, i neeed this job. like seriously.

Daddy is having problems with internet connection.

daddy, cant i just use the card that was meant for me?

Why must i wait till 21? pfft!

Akai will be sending me to school tomorrow, no reason for me to give hym 1001 reasons not to go school.

and he's so gonna wake me up.

Haiz, sayang jugak kamu terhadap aku yah?

Recently, he have been saying that im stubborn.

Akai ; bella, dgarla advice akai

Bella ; nanaq! bluek!

Akai ; degil eh? naughty girl, tu pasal akai cakap, CEWEQQU JUTEQ!

Bella ; Juteq yah mas? Kalo gytu, kamu cowoqqu yang Galaq deh!

Akai ; galaq aper bende?

Bella ; GARANG!

Akai ; yela cewekku jutek!

Sweetheart will be doing guard duty tomorrow and i wun be seeing hym.

*much misses.

aduh, udah kagen nih sama kamu!

its okay, at least, im seeing him in the morning.

The last thing i gotta do now, is to sleep before he starts nagging!

GOODNITE EVERYONE!

2009-01-11T23:05:00.009+08:00

The only guy that captures my heart, evrytime.

Baby, over umpteen times we argue over the same things.

Still, time and time again, people tried to break us apart.

Im glad, glad we are still here, holding on, standing strong.

I love you more than anyone could ever love you, hunneh.

I knoe, im all mushy now.

Im just so impressed.

U knoe what im facing and what ive been through.

You have been there, all the time.

Both eve and max made me realize that ive been kinda controlling at tymes.

My irrationality, my harsh words and temper did hurt you.

I apologize.

My days spent with you is like days spending in heaven.

During our misunderstanding, we went through hell.

Words spoken, hatred and anger which wasnt necessary.

I just pray this never ends.

You know, i'll fight for what i love.

I knoe you're upset with my present career.

Baby, its for the time being, at least, you understand.

I promise upon myself not to hide things from you.

I will pull through.

Just stay with me,

I'll prove everyone, im not that weak.

as what you said, "BELLA, DUN DISAPPOINT ME, AKAI LOVE BELLA K?".

Here, i end this post.

I love you baby.

Hugs.

2009-01-09T01:25:00.003+08:00

Yes, playing around with words can somehow kill a person.

But again, whenever there's a third party, things will always turn the other way round.

I am neither angry nor agitated with what happened.

Im downfounded.

My dearest DIYDEE JANE, the old us remains.

All I need is tyme.

I knoe, its partly my fault.

Never did I blame U. Never will I lose this friendship.

Yes, you have been with me since the day school started.

Yes, I was always there for U. and U were there for me.

I knoe, Ive been busy with my life.

There is just so much.

Again, I am not a storybook. I will never sell my stories cos it brings me shame, not fame.

The thought of losing a friend is far beyond my thoughts.

Ive just realized one thing in life, not to be too lenient.

My leniency leads to nowhere.

DIYDEEJANE,

I love you much.

and i can never step out of this sisterhood.

not to worry.

I understand.

You are caught in between.

Im used to people framing me, baby.

I just need tyme to heal.

Rest assured, evrything will be back to normal, bitch!

2009-01-06T04:44:00.001+08:00

He is banning me from wearing shorts! PFFT .

2009-01-05T22:07:00.002+08:00

My masai face after a whole day out since morning.
urgh!
Im all lethargic now.
Last night was fucked up!
Had a huge tiff with akai.
haha. sorry, i fooled ya! nothing of that sort happened.

I was out late since 9pm since there's no school today.
Met dearest over at his aunt's crib.
I actually intended to take the last train back to woodlands.
Unfortunately, luck wasnt on my side.
I was a minute late and ive to like call everyone up to see who is kind enough to fetch me home.
A certain someone promised to fetch me, but he fucking blew it off.
I am pissed, yea.
Akai's license have to be revoked. like wtf ryte? lol.

and..

I ended up calling akai to accompany me until that someone fetch me.
Baby was mad cos that person blew me off.
It was okay, i guessed. partly my fault.
Thanks to me, yes me, he have to take medical leave from the clinic.

As usual, if its bellakai, there will be much nonsense. and i min it. muchmuch nonsense.
went over shop and save to grab some food and drinks.
Afterwhich, headed to the nearest bus stop and sit for a while.
i swear, i was having a migraine.
Akai pretended to be a stranger

Akai ; ey gal, tunggu siaper?
Bella ; tunggu jantan aqu uh. lembab siaqs.
Akai ; tu larh, aqu pun tgh tunggu pmpn aqu.
bella ; pmpn qau umur brape ?
akai ; masey girl lagy, baru naq masuq 19.
bella ; eh? jantan aqu harapqan lagy tuer dari aqu, taq bergune.
akai ; pmpn aqu baik, lawa, sayangg aqu pat dier. cumer qadang2 aqu perangai
bella ; eh? ingat qau taq tawu.. oh, penyabar eh pmpn qau? paqai tudung pe?
Akai ; taqla, cume seqali je pena nmpk dier paqai tudung. manis je. mukerr dier mcm qau la.
Bella ; eh?
akai ; tgoq sikit muker.
bella ; (turn over and smiled).
Akai ; eyh bella! bile sampai??
Bella ; akai nie ader2 je la! hahaha

He and his nonsense never failed to make me laugh.
afterwhich, he pretended to be a magician.
aiyyaaaai-!

he accompanied me all the way till 5 30 am.
and i slept like a pig from 6 15 am till 3 35 pm
.
woke up with 54 missed calls and 23 messages.
Akai was saying 'Ishk, akai mampos pun bella taq sadar agaqnyer'.
haha.

I was tired darlinq.

I am happy enough he never controlled me the way he used to.
as long as im happy with what im doing, he's alrite.
But no matter what happens, your heart is my treasure and i shall take a good care of it hunneh.
sorry cos i knoe at tymes, im irrational.
Ok, i better get ready now before he pepot2..

2009-01-04T17:21:00.003+08:00

I am sooper bored ! Ok, Im supposed to meet dearest early ! Im lazy enough to get my my faaat ass up the bed. lmao. Okeh, now im up and ready, he's still asleeeeeeeeeeep. pffft.

Thanks to my 12345678910112131415161718192021222324252627282930 of wake up calls.

He is finally up and HOPEFULLY he is already in the shower. Baby. cepeten dong! waduh. udah bosan bgt nih. mawu aja akw simbahin kamu sama air!

Daddy gave me a call two nights ago. wanting me to meet mama's cousins back in Indonesia.

Im excited but lazy at the same time.

Told daddy, grandma wants me to visit aunt ryta back in Melbourne.

Now, i seriously feel im like a bouncing ball! duhs !

I dun care. Im staying here peacefully.

Unless I merajok den i follow U ok daddy.

Great, akai and I have plans to attend naima's birthday this week.

This precious' birthday falls on 16th of january, if im not mistaken, kn eqa?

she was borned on the day i have my bloody geography test 2 years back.

I rushed to KK and took mc for my test. nakal eh bella? lol.

and today, i dun really feel like going out. in a lazymode.

but then, nothing beats my akai! no matter how lazy i ought to be, im still gonna rock on and get my ass up the bed !

tomorrow is already monday. Ive to be up early not for school but for another job interview.

all the best to me.

2009-01-03T01:08:00.004+08:00

Seriously, age is just a number.
Im legally 18 and im turning 19 real soon.
I knoe im proud.
Not implying that Im some kinda matured chic but I realise some people tend to act all
'babyish' despite being older.

Tell me people, do I look like one kinda fucked up shyt?
If you are wondering why I am asking, let me share with you my part of story.

Recently, theres this ANONYMOUS in my life. Hell no, she was never, never my close friend.
I would generally say, she is just an acquaintance. How bad my luck is.
This lady here told her mum I owe her fucking cash!
And hello, Ive never borrowed U a single cent, asshole.
Such a bad image I potray to her family.
Pity myself.

She even loaned her mum that certain amount of cash claiming she have to pay for some shyts on my behalf.
Now, I am confident that most her friends would call me a low dignity hypocrite bytch.

Im glad my baby bytches noes my inside out.
and for me to borrow cash is a no no !
Unless my dad has no internet connection to transfer me a certain amount.

U tried too much.
And i realised that a certain someone has been frequenting my blog.
Whenever I change my blog song, that ass would do the same. Oh and not forgetting some sarcasms. Haha.
Yes, I knoe she have such an excellent imagination to come up with such fable but UNFORTUNATELY, she have no sense of ORIGINALITY.
AND BYTCH, NOTHING BEATS ORIGINALITY.
I guess U havent heard about me ?
Oh well, my life is your entertainment kan? best qan hidop aqu?

At least i dun go around making people feel guilty.
I'm never the devil in ppl's relationship.
Oh , you're so sweet in breaking people up huh? Be it couples or friends.
I simply adore the way you envy, shitface.

How sweeet of you to move on and forget your friends.
And when your friends wants some space for their boyfies,
u go around crying and complaining.
But hey, U have a mirror at home, why not look at that fugly face and reflect your actions?

Eh, orang semuer sekadar layanqan qau. faham?
taq perlu laa naq busuk2qan namer orang.
and one more thing,
siaper hutang siaper?
IM NICE ENOUGH TO PAY FOR THAT ITEM YOU WANTED DESPERATELY.
Ure just a jealous fucker.
Seriously, jealousy is the worst virus.
Too bad, it runs in your blood.

Ure so sweet to compare your friends to a certain animal just because they enjoyed themselves w/o u?
such a pity hunneh.

Even your parents told us not to be too close to you.
Its a precaution to be taken.
Look, whose at loss now? me or you?
U think you could handle me ?
Bring it on.
I might be younger than you, but i think better.
A BIG WHATEVER TO YOU.

PS ; EH QAU, TERASER? SORRY LA, NOT MENTIONING NAMES.
BUT QALAO DAR TERASER TU, SIAPER MAQAN CHILLI, TERASE LA PEDASNYE. Ahaaaai!

Take a taste back of your own actions asshole.
shoo!

Im so sorry ure such an attention seeker.
Oh, i simply love your dramas and the way you fake yourself cos you're similar to a joke book.
You make a fool out of yourself, sayang.
Sayang? I take back my words, sial!

suspect soon enough ade hate tagg. hahahaha

I rock. U suck. boo!

2009-01-02T22:50:00.003+08:00

I swear this picture was taken like a year ago?

Haha.

back in september. I knoe, lain qan?

Its early January and apit is no longer with us.

Oh, tats apit. Akai's elder brother. Muka lain eh? haha.

We used to qacau apit, black!

Seriously.

Apit is now serving his sentence. and i should thank hym for the support.

He have always been the best brother in law.

Glad, he will be bailed tomorrow morning.

Akai will be fetching him and i shall meet them later in the afternoon when im awake cos seriously, im fucking sleepy. get it??

I'll update on hym soon.

2009-01-02T01:22:00.002+08:00

TAG REPLIES :

Erin ; will link you up soon babe. ;)

Bella ; Linked. Not a prob hunneh ! take a good cre of yourself and tompel !

nis! ; baik link aku nan ajib takde. ):

Bella ; hey no worries baby, sorry la. will do soooon !

Aysha ; Hey pretty! Happy new year!! :)

Bella ; Hey sexy cousin of mine ! Happy 2009 to u too! much misses!

Fyeeqa : Bella..bella..bella..hahaks.

Bella ; fyeeqa fyeeqa fyeeqa! pagel hye tom? hahaaha

todoshi : wwah! 10/10 seh!!!!!!!! wish me luck for mine!!!!!!!

Bella ; all the best sweetheart! thanks!

Fnira : Im soo happy for u my sayang..You look so suka ria eh skrg?LOL!!Stay happy always with ur beloved MR akai ok dear..:)

Bella ; thanks my darlinq. yeah, i hope evrything will shine beb! stay happy gf! happy new year.

Rabia : Its gd to see u hapi gf.tc...imy!

Bella : thanks dearest. thanks for being my backbone, i luv you much babe! imyt.

2009-01-02T00:24:00.002+08:00

Hello 2009. Goodbye 2008.

Im now on the phone,with Akai.

He is a bad bad boy for today! Not wanting to sleep but listen to my voice when he have work tomorrow! He havta be up at 5. grr! degil sangatsangat.

I am really looking forward to a better prospect this year.

Trying my very best to be akai's goodgirl.

and to be much more responsible and positive.

Both, akai and I will be saving up.

yes, save, save, save and save!

He will be my financial controller.

Or else, i'll overspent.

Somehow, 2008 have been a roughtough year for me.

Lots of obstacles, lots of tears and challenges.

ALL IN ONE YEAR.

Its like dominoes, falling one after another.

Like a star, people keep on talking and spreading unwanted rumours.

sungguh taq perlu k?

but unfortunately, mulot drg taq penat bitching.

lol.

Aniwae, sad to knoe, my life is your entertainment, babies.

Haha.

Lots of bitches have been challenging me and waiting to see me fall.

For now, i wouldnt wanna think about it.

cos those challenges made me stronger.

Now that im away. away from all the dramas, i bet, i leave u questioning why.

Theres a saying ; Tepuq dada, tanya selera.

ask yourselves.

Whereas me and akai, people keep on breaking us apart.

fables and lies.

saying im cheap and i bring random guys to my place for a late nyte?

aye, please eh? i have pride and i have my mum and my brother at home ok.

im not alone.

This 2009, i do hope it would be smooth.

I'll graduate soon in may and im looking forward to a better career.

Lots of mugging baybee.

Im also taking my driving license.

and i shall pass my diploma, hopefully.

Im planning much for my future this tyme round.

trust me, no more hanky panky.

Preparing to be more serious now.

Besides, my family is enough to keep me rockin!

oh and not forgetting those who totally see the inner me.

and and my baby and his family.

I dun need hypocrites to break me apart.

2009, NEW YEAR, NEW ME.

Goodnite.

2009-01-01T23:53:00.008+08:00

Pictures taken before countdown. suntec and penin.

fireworks was beautiful!

MORE PICTURES to come.

HAPPY 2009 sweethearts! all the best.

2009-01-01T23:21:00.003+08:00

Firstly, HAPPY 2009 people! Finally, 2008 is over and im wishing for the best. Akai's plan to head st James with me was cancelled due to some reasons.

1. His guy friends wun be bringing their girlfies along

2. Off for some drinking

3. Ive got my plans with girlfies

So, the both of us decided to split in different directions.

Akai was out with his brother, apit and friends.

I was upset for a minute, but then hey, thanks to my girlfies!

and thanks to u my dearest sheikhmuhammadzakaria for cheering me up in the end.

Supposed to meet in town, but, town was extremely crowded and i told akai it was ok if he couldnt make it cos i understand the traffic! lol.

At least i spent the whole morning with dearest.

qan sayang?

Headed for breakfast at mcdonalds in toa payoh and im pretty worried for this special one.

Haha.

There was a mirror right next to us in mcdonalds.

Akai was talking to the mirror ;

Akai : Ey, muker awaq same la dgn sayer..

Akai pretending to be the other akai (akai 2) : ye taq ye. handsome qan?

Akai ; Taqmo la ckp gytu. malu la sayer..

akai 2 : jemput maqan la.

akai ; jemput2.

(and lots more).

I couldnt stop laughing eversince.

My baby's getting better!

He's much spontaneous and he never failed to put a smile upon my face.

waduh ! maken syg deh sama pacar aku !

Akai ; the only reason i smile and cry at the same time.

He's both my poison and honey.

The only drug im addicted to.

Countdown was a blast.

was out with Justina and dolly.

afterwhich, met diydeejane and aghilparker.

oh so sweet.

whats impressive, the 5 of us was wearing black!

I swear, it wasnt planned !

I was happy to have bumped into most of my long lost friends from singapore flyer, woodlands and everywhere. Not forgetting Juraizat, my lovely ex who turned a year older yesterday.

Have fun, people.

2008-12-30T02:33:00.005+08:00

Just got back from meeting akai.

Yea, the pictures taken from hys mobile phone.

Mine aint working cos of the stupid format thingy.

CANCELLED PLAN to watch movie today.

It will be either tmr or the day after tmr.

Yea, baby will be fetching me from school tomorrow and going for lunch.

Love hym alot. Baby, I love you so much.

Those who hates us, back off.

Currently on the phone with hym and im off to sleep.

Wish me luck for tomorrows presentation! im nervous.

Its my oral presentation,

individual ok.

Love,

Bye.

2008-12-29T18:56:00.002+08:00

I'm back! Back from Malaysia. Hey, dun get me wrong, im not a malaysian ok, so mind you. lol.
My mum in law just bought a house back in gelang patah. its nice, i swear.
Headed to gelang patah last friday right after i accompanied akai collect hys passport in Jurong.
Afterwhich, the both of us ended up talking till 5 am. we are supposed to be awake by 6 am but dear and i had a long heart to heart conversation. Swear, i was all tears. Didnt expect baby to be so sweet. He was never this sweet before. B, stay the way you are ok? Mummy likeee! =)

We went to Muar, and i wore selendang! I HAVE TO OK ? cos i went over to yaya's madrasah to visit her.
Akai was asking me to wear tudung more often , hmpf! hahs.
Oh yea, im not ready yet.

We had a long journey, went shopping and yea, DINNER.
The food was awesome, i tell you!
Akai is getting his bike licence, again.
and yea, baby, nak kene ader namer bella ok! ngerti lho?

Went back to singapore and slept over akai's crib.
Just got home last nyte after some minor misunderstanding.
But hey, we are ok now.

Met hym at causeway point, got hym to buy me food and foundation.
Thanks beybeh.
catching midnight movie again, tonight.

For now, he's out. what do you expect from guys??

PS ; BANNING ALL GUYS FROM PUTTING SOCCER FIRST AND GIRLFIE SECOND!
Lol.

I shall update you with morreeee pictures. sooon enough ok, im seriously in a rush now.

lol.

Chao beybeh!

2008-12-21T23:45:00.004+08:00

Mom in law (akai's mum) , called me early last morning..

She wanted me to come over and accompany both her and iqah.

I knew she felt alone since yaya went back to Madrasah.

I was not on tyme and reached her place at about 10.15pm.

Sorry mama, bella pegy tgoq eve sakit.

Had a long convo with her till 4 in the morning.

afterwhich, papa went off to work and me, asleeep.

Sweet iqah wasnt in the pink of health.

I helped do the housechores and sponged iqah.

Alhamdulillah, her temperature reduced.

Akai's mum's friend came over for a chat.

I really appreciate akai's family. alot. I can only pray hard to Allah, that he will repay their kindness. no words could explain.

Im happy as it is.

and i hope, history was meant for the past and it shall not repeat.

I gotta run. im still doing my research.

Updates sooon.

and yea, cant wait till wednesday. 2 more days to go bebey!